I’m 19 and my gf is 28

@sarah253 age is just a number. I don't think age gap matters in relationships.

You could discuss clearly with your partner what you're looking for and if they are on the same page.

@sarah253

Hello Sarah,

While I am no longer anywhere near as young as I was at the time, when I was 19 I had a long distance relationship with a woman who was 9 years (and 2 days) older than me. I've always been something of an 'old soul' to an extent so most of my friends are even more of an age difference for me, but I did find there were challenges to having that kind of age difference in my relationship. I found unfortunately at times it was as though I was a "child" and she was the "parent" when we would have serious conversations which was not the kind of relationship dynamic I wanted.

We also had very different life experiences and relationships with the world around us, were at different stages in what we were looking for and trying to do with our lives. Which I now can see for me were not conducive to having a healthy relationship.

But, I also know that it's not always about chronological age difference so much as things like our goals for the relationship, where we are in our life/what we are seeking from life, and our ability to recognize our partner as a peer. While age peer groups are often the ones we focus on, I prefer to think of intellectual peers, value system peers, emotional peers, etc. as well when evaluating if my partner is also my peer.

So what would you want from the relationship? If you were to communicate that to your partner what do you feel would happen/change?