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I’m worried my sister won’t accept me.

AriMay June 9th
.

Hello. I’m new here and I’m feeling anxious and I’d like some advice. Me and my sister are really close. I don’t have any friends and she is really all I have. I love her a lot and we get along really well but there are things we disagree about. The biggest being LGBTQ stuff. I told her recently that I am attracted to people of all genders, including trans people. I was hoping she would be really accepting and open to the idea of me falling in love one day with someone, no matter their gender. But she was just kind of uncomfortable. She told me she doesn’t agree with transgender people, that she believes it’s a mental illness. We ended the conversation with her telling me she loves me no matter what and we quickly moved on. But I still feel anxious. Like I said, I have no friends and I desperately want to connect with people. What if my sister, who I love, doesn’t accept the people I want to connect with? Sorry if I’m rambling. I Joe talking about it will make me feel better. 💙

8
serendipity0002 June 18th
.

Hopefully she will be accepting to you when you open up to her.

Aayla June 18th
.
@AriMay hi and thank you for opening up! It's really hard when the people we rely on the most can't understand the things that are important to us. I know that the fact she didn't immediately shut you out shouldn't count as a win as it is the bare minimum, but considering how other people with similar ideas react, it seems there is room for reaching a certain level of understanding here. After all, she did say she loves you no matter what. Now she'll have the chance to prove it as you connect with LGBT people.
Maybe the fact that you'll start getting in touch with more LGBT people will prompt her to try and understand you better as well as the people who are important to you. If you love someone who is trans, your sister, who knows and appreciates you, might want to understand what you see in them that is so special to you. That will be your chance to guide her through a better understanding. Sure, you'll have to be patient and there might be more tension. Just remember that to accept you, she must truly understand you, so you'll have to try and be as open as you can about all of this.

I wish you the best!

akunknown June 19th
.

@AriMay

If your sister doesn’t accept you, that is her decision and her loss. There is nothing wrong at all being attracted to all genders. And that does not justify your sister not accepting you. But you can make friends on here or in person with other trans people and communities that have them. You just have to be patient with yourself and give yourself as much time as it takes to find them. That’s all. 

FYI: And honestly I wouldn’t waste time worrying about something that hasn’t happened yet. That’s like worrying about 2025 or any other year after that when it’s still 2024. Try focusing more on the present :)

HEARTSNCROSSES June 24th
.

I know this all to well as I am Trans.  It is difficult to come out especially when you fear someone you love will not accept you.  It is important to explain everything to her and express how much she means.  Coming out it a courageous decision.  The worry is something that is common.  I am one of the people who advocate on coming out, but you can only do it when the time is right and when you feel secure.  feel free to message me 

nicePeach8854 July 16th
.

@AriMay Hello, I'm new here too. Thank you for your post! I'm sorry that you got a bad response, but well done for telling her anyway. At first it might take a while for her to come round. But because you are close I'm sure that one day she will be able to accept you fully. I'm not sure if my reply is helpful at all but I wanted to reach out and say that if you're looking for someone to chat to you can message me because I'm looking for people to connect to as well! I wish you all the best and I hope that you are able to spend some nice times with your sister. I'm close with my sister too and I know how awful it can feel when something gets in the way of that. I'm so sorry. Anyway if you want to message someone feel free to message me :)

fearlessCake4110 July 29th
.

@arimay


It's tough to feel let down by the people your care about and rely on, but it sounds like she is trying her best to show you she loves you. You are a human being that deserves the space to experience life the way you see fit. Your sister may be important to you now, but you need to live for yourself too. You can't deny yourself because of the approval or lack of it from others. Its also possible that when the time comes when you meet the right trans person and introduce them to your sister as someone you care about, she may see things differently then. We are all growing in understanding and perspective. Keep in mind that one day you will need to make your own decisions because you need to live your life, not your sisters.


Hoping for all the best for you, fellow bi/pan folk.ð«¡

easyBeach2703 August 2nd
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Hi! So sorry to hear this! I have the same problem, I figured out a few months ago that I am bi and now I have been trying to tell my sister this and every time I even mention the lgbtq community she starts making vomiting sounds to express her disapproval towards it and so I’m still not out to her. I know how you feel and I’m so sorry! 

WellsFiction August 2nd
.

@AriMay It's ok if you two disagree with each other. I understand how nerve wracking it can be, yet you have to embrace yourself no matter what. You aren't hurting your sister by being yourself.  Fear can be challenging and hard to face, yet when you do it gets better. You posting this shows how kind you are and you're strong :)

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