23 and confused...

As the title states I am 23 and confused.
From a very young age I always knew I liked girls. 
I grew up around religious people, I remember once asking my dad 
"If any of your kids were gay, what would you do?"
"I'd beat the gay out of them" was his reply and I never brought it back up to him till years later.
I came out to him at 16 as being bi and introduced him to my at the time girlfriend. 
Ever sense he has shown me support. 
My birth giver however, stands by being homophobic. 
She and my grandmother threw a fit when my niece was saying she was a lesbian. That side of the family did tbh. So idk if she still thinks that of herself or not.

I can be in a relationship with a guy. No issues. I find them cute. Well, found them cute.
Due to recent events in my life I find myself very put off by dudes.
I only have my eyes open to other women now.
But I've been talking to a trans girl and she's honestly such a sweetie. I am very attractive to her. 
I've always labeled myself as bi/demi ((Bi with a female lean))
But lately I've been questioning if I am bi and I just dated men because of how I was raised.
"Compulsory heterosexuality"
This is what sits in my mind. 
It's a struggle sometimes. Because from age 14 to 17 I labeled myself a lesbian but the moment a guy showed interest I dropped it?....I was a weird teen. 
I think I just wanted male validation like everyone else around me was getting.
Being the only openly queer person around my school was really rough until I started dating a guy, people seemed to want to be my friend again. 

I have dated men and women over the years. I always found myself happier with a woman or a more fem presenting person.
I think this is more of me yapping now. 
I just want to know if others have this struggle. 
I question myself a lot over the years and it gets tiring. 
Am I scared to be the real me due to who i grew up around and my family's views?
Or am I just really unstable and all over the place....

The important questions I have:
1:Would it be wrong to label myself as les if I am with a trans girl?
-I only ask this because of some people I've tried to talk to before. 
2:Should I stick with the label bi if I never intend on dating a cis male again?
-I only ask because of some recent bad events involving cis/straight men...

Thank you to whoever takes the time to read this.
It feels nice to get it out of my head and somewhere written down so I can look at it fully.