Internalised Homophobia
Hii,
I've been dealing with internalised homophobia for a few years now. It is largely attributed to my conservative upbringing and culture and being bisexual used to bring me a lot of shame and guilt unnecessarily. I used to wish I was just straight and avoid being intimate with women. I have grown and changed since then but it still upsets me when I catch myself feeling that tiny prickle of fear when a woman flirts with me that I can't stop no matter how much I convince myself that I should be proud of my sexuality. Does anyone else feel this way too? Any advice on how to better deal with this?
I'm offering my biggest warmest hugs for anyone experiencing this issue as well, your feelings are valid. I love you. Please give yourself time to grow.
With warmth and compassion,
Serene
@serenedreamslover Hi - it sounds like you're already on a positive path. You're working hard to understand why you feel the way that you do and to addressing it. Take your time. Don't necessarily push yourself into situations that make you feel uncomfortable. But be present. Be aware. And live your life without, as best you can, hiding yourself away. You sound really lovely. And sending you every best wish.
I can relate to this but for me it's internalized transphobia against the self. I attribute it to also growing up around conservative beliefs and cultural stigmas. The way I handle it is by being present and practicing mindfulness. The first step is being able to recognize when it's happening. Being able to hear the way I talk to myself internally, then question whether it is true or not of my beliefs, then counteract with words and actions that reflect my true beliefs. When it comes to the sexuality aspect, only you can decide when the encounters or relations are right for you and you should act on the ones that feel most comfortable for you. Societies views shouldn't be the gatekeeper on who we choose to love. Love is love and when it's right you will know.