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I'm gay... but am I?

6depressoespresso9 November 11th, 2022

I feel gay. I know deep down I'm gay. Maybe I don't know it, but I know I'm defo not straight. I have a girlfriend and she's the love of my life. I'm 14 btw. We've been together for a very long time, but I'm still questioning my sexuality... like I'm really struggling. I had always convinced myself that I'm bi, but now I'm not shure. I don't like men period. But how can I know for sure?

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hopefulPond6108 November 11th, 2022

@6depressoespresso9 Well maybe you are searching for a “label”, an “identity”. I prefer broccoli to cauliflower, should I declare that from here on out, I should only like broccoli? I know it’s a bit absurd, my example, but a sexual preference is a preference. It’s more tied to our “identity”, and some of that is also partly a cultural identity. So it may feel like it’s more important than deciding what veggies we like. And you are still a teenager. You don’t have to figure it all out tomorrow. Breath.

2 replies
hopefulPond6108 November 11th, 2022

@hopefulPond6108 Actually, I should have said, “gender identity”… which is probably more broad than sexual preference. But still, you will figure this out in time.

6depressoespresso9 OP November 12th, 2022

Thank you so much, that defo helped me

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EmotionsListener November 12th, 2022

@6depressoespresso9

Labels are indeed there to describe us not define us, so it's okay to not have the perfect description for yourself yet, even while knowing your own truth and experience. Regardless of age labels are tools we use to communicate to others, for now it's okay to simply know how you feel without knowing the prefect words to call it.

It does sound like you are having a lot of the thoughts and feelings that are very common when a person is questioning. I've found sometimes it's not even a question of "Am I?" but rather "How will I cope with it? What it will mean for me/my life?" Regardless those can all be some very big questions to face, and a lot to struggle with.

Many here know the struggle well, and we are here with you as you find your own answers. Sending support and care. ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜