Dating confusion?
So I’ve dated this girl in the past and we’re both really confused about if we like each other and I feel like I keep switching on and off about liking her. The reason we broke up was because I thought I didn’t like her anymore and to be honest I was ashamed of dating someone of the same sex. I didn’t want to be judged. I’ve been trying to focus on this boy because of it. Now I feel like I have a different opinion each day. You guys have any tips or stories that could help.
@SophiaP13
It sounds like you may be finding your feelings are obscured by those concerns about dating someone of the same sex, it can be difficult to know if we are experiencing attraction when things like shame are telling us not to have those feelings.
I find it can be important to work to separate out the feelings of shame and fear of judgement from our attraction. For example do you fear or not want to feel attracted, or is it more you don't want other people to hate you or treat you poorly for the attraction you may or may not be experiencing?
While questioning can be an uncomfortable experience, it's okay to take some time to try to listen and learn what feels right for you. It may take time to find your answers in all the noise/distractions that include hateful attitudes and beliefs, our own concerns for what it may or may not cost us, and what we've been taught we are supposed to want.
Some questions to think on if you'd like:
So, if you were to identify as LGBTQ+ what would that mean for you? Are there things you would worry about?
You mention the girl you dated in the past, and the boy you are trying to focus on now, how are your feelings for both similar and/or different? What thoughts or feelings come up when you think about each of them separately?
I hope you are able to find what feels right for you and accept yourself when you do whatever that truth is.
❤️🧡💛💚💙💜