You don’t have to read this
I hate my self so much. I hate everything abt myself. I’ll never be a real boy and it’s so stupid. I can never do anything I want cause of my stupid gender and im never gonna be good enough. And I’m watching all these videos and stuff of people getting top surgery and starting t and it just feels so far away cause my whole family just thinks I’m nb which I guess is closer but they still only know me as my birth name and misgender me all the time and when they do call me they I know it’s better then being a girl, but it still feels wrong. I can’t do anything cause of my stupid chest and face and thighs (ugh I HATE my thighs) and I can’t get a binder. I’m going on spring break soon and I hate swimming because of stupid dysphoria. And I just want to curl up and cry and sink into the floor and disappear but I can’t even do that cause of my stupid f**ked up self that won’t even cry and I hate it so much. And I’ve been trying so hard recently to be positive and not hurt myself and just be ‘ok’ but the truth is I’m not. I hate me and I’m just the worst.
(pls don’t worry abt me cause I’m fine)