How To Feel Gender
I'm a nonbinary transmasc, which to me means that I am both nonbinary and trans, floating under both umbrellas, not entirely too far off from demiboy. However, I am AFAB and have genetically large hips and big breasts (38DD, seriously??) I am also still closeted from my highly homophobic and transphobic family.
Any ideas on how to make me feel more androgynous and/or masculine?
@EirwenAri
Hmm, I am by no means an expert on these topics but a question does remain, ..
Is there something preventing you from feeling androgynous and/or masculine?
Why I ask, some people I have known and meet over the decades are indifferent. I have known of people whom are super masculine (in my opinion) but are gay. I have known men whom are extremely fem but are straight. Which then brings in the stereotypes (which I am not a fan) so.
What does a androgynous and/or masculine suppose to feel like?
@Barltik2065
For me, androgyny is when I look in the mirror and can see a clear feminine and masculine look to me almost psyche myself (or others) out and make one have to look twice to try and guess if the person is masculine or feminine - androgyny. The things getting in the way are A) Fairly long hair B) A very feminine figure. Things getting in the way of major alterations to those are very homo/transphobic parents (and that small matter of me still closeted)
@EirwenAri
Ahhhhh
You are the expert of you. You know what you require and will help you to be more happy. Your feelings are valid. We are here for you.
My father was a large advocate and supporter against the LGBT community (Q+ and other designations didn’t exist back then). If my father knew, I doubt it would have changed. If anything I bet he would have been worse. So I can empathize with you in the regards of homophobic.
My peers all told me that “may card has been revoked” as to being a card carrying member of the LGTB community.
Do you feel the physical traits of feminine is preventing you from feeling more masculine?
I am interested in learning and understanding more, so I can be a better person.
@Barltik2065
Apologies for delay - I let go of this site for weeks and forgot of it's existence.
Yes, I would say so. I want to reach a balance of feminine and masculine, but the feminine is too heavy-handed for me to feel comfortable with myself
@EirwenAri
Welcome back. It is ok, we are here for you.
It sounds as though the physical traits are preventing you from reaching a comfortable balance.
What do you feel is needed to achieve that balance? Maybe different clothing and a mental attitude of ownership?
@EirwenAri
Exploring your identity is a personal journey, and there's no right or wrong way to go about it. Whether it's through clothing, hairstyles, grooming, or finding supportive communities, the key is to do what feels comfortable and authentic for you.
It's also okay to take your time and make gradual changes that align with your identity and comfort level. You're not alone in this journey, and there are people and communities that understand and support you. Your feelings are valid, and you're on a path to self-discovery and self-expression that is uniquely yours.