Don’t feel pressure to read this

So I kinda came out as ftm to my parents a little while ago but they don’t really care. My dad said he supports me but he doesn’t believe in transitioning and I know he sees me as his little girl. I had been out as non binary for a bit so he will use they/them for me but I really know I’m a boy. I always have known. Since I was little and sticking stuffed animals in my pants to pretend I had a d*ck. Or telling my friend I wanted top surgery on the floor of her room at 10 years old when my aunt got it (Shes still a girl, just with a flat chest) before I even knew what it really meant. And I know I’m only 13 and I have so much time to discover myself, but I know this feels right. And I can’t take it anymore. I hit puberty near the end of being 11 and I have hated myself so much. I can’t stand my chest and it doesn’t help that I have a big chest. I play lots of sports and being on the girls team is just a reminder of how much I hate myself. But if I did play on the boys team (which I’m not allowed to) I would just be less then them even though I work so so hard just to try to build a tiny bit of muscle and I just hate it so much. Seeing my brother and my friends and all the guys in my life be perfect boys just makes me wanna cry.

(Just a note; it’s ok if you don’t read this or respond. I’m ok. I don’t want it to seem like I have it super bad because I know a lot of people have it much worse than me and I am very grateful that my parents still love me and didn’t kick me out and stuff like that)