Wishing things were different

I feel your pain @Sgalan1990

I grew up in a super supportive environment and a very close sister who is bi, and yet I still wish I was straight most of the time because it would just make life so much easier. I can hardly relate to both lgbt+ people and straight people, not even in my own community. And I can 100% relate that the mental and emotional problems really aren't helping. People even told me very recently that I would die alone because I wasn't trying hard enough to match up with the rest of the world and to share the interests of most other people.

But let me tell you that that's never what you deserve. Being true to yourself in a world full of copycats is a strength that will never fail to inspire others, because deep down everyone is different and only too afraid to live their lives the way they wish they could. Stay strong and embrace who you are and people will fall in love with your beautiful nature of being different over the blandness of being just like every other fish in the sea.
As for the mental and emotional problems; that's what we're all here for. Keep reaching out and we will help you get through the pain together.

You're not alone. I see you and I'm rooting for you 💝

@Sgalan1990 I'm the kind of gay man one can tell within 5 minutes. I tried to change and butch it up when I was younger, but I just didn't have it in me. I was very shy for a very long time. Eventually I became very comfortable in my skin. I never apologize for my traits and I accept anybody and everybody for theirs.

As for being alone, I was 33 when I met my partner, he was 43. I'd been in one serious relationship, he'd never dated anyone for more than a few months. We were both in a happy comfortable space being alone. When we met it was quite by accident. We'd flirted from across the room when he got up to leave. As he passed by I stood, stretched out my hand introduced myself. Very much outside my comfort zone. We've now been together 15 years and got married this summer. You never when or where you might find someone, but make sure you are comfortable with you first. And I guarantee straight people have it just as tough, so honestly being straight probably wouldn't make it any easier to find someone.

You aren't alone!

@Sgalan1990 I also wanted to add, my husband and I have very different traits and interests. We've found that being so different compliments us as a couple. Our core values are very similar, that I feel is what makes us work.

@Sgalan1990

@Sgalan1990

@Sgalan1990

@Sgalan1990

@Sgalan1990 I often find myself wishing I was striaght (when i say often i mean all the time), I just feel like life would be so much simpler and less complicated. I also feel like i wouldn't be such an outcast all the time (Im closeted but the homophobia around me has led me to trully feel grotesque about myself and my sexuality). But something has really helped me understand this and make things easier is the idea of the fluidity of sex and how truly it is simply a spectrum. I think that you cant really meet anyone whose fully homo or hetro sexual. We are all on a spectrum which is very heavily influenced by our social and contextual environment. For this reason it makes our sexualities all different and not just two labels of being gay or stragiht. We are more than simply our sexualities and its time that we realized this. I understand very well (i really know the feeling) about wanting to change your sexuality, but you can't because its something ingrained in you. So you can do one of two things, either keep fighting it to no avail or try and accept it and see where it takes you from there. I know this is easier said than done, and im trying harder than ever to abide by this advice, but i know if we keep working on ourselves some day we will be happy with who we are.

I truly wish you the best of luck and hope we are both very happy with who we are someday!

@Sgalan1990

@Sgalan1990 Also im really sorry about all the empty replies, i dont know what happened and i dont know how to remove them :(