Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

Divide in the LGBTQ+ community over new gender identities?

User Profile: courageousKite3480
courageousKite3480 September 14th

I know there is a lot of divide within the community over many topics, because everyone is human and we all have our own perspectives. 

Growing up in the community there was a lot of internal divide on the spectrum of gender that materialized in many ways. 

I had a hard time finding the words to explain my experience to my son, especially in trying to communicate why a lot of the older LGBTQ+ community is having a hard time with the new generations gender identity movement. 

Tell me how you feel you have seen or have experienced this divide? 

Please be kind to each other, we all have our own experiences, let’s leave room for non judgment. 

6
User Profile: Aayla
Aayla September 14th
@courageousKite3480 there's definitely a lot of divide in the community about many topics, in this case a think a lot has to do with how we "fossilize" on the perspective we've internalized growing up. Older people may have a different understanding of gender based on their own experience or cultural environment, while younger generations are devolping a new understanding of the complexities of gender. I think a good way to handle these different understandings is for everyone be respectful of other people's experiences, trying to understand where every individual comes from, as well as being open to new ideas and willing to empathize with other people's journey. It's good to share our understanding and ask questions, as long as it's all done respectfully and open mindedly.
3 replies
User Profile: courageousKite3480
courageousKite3480 OP September 14th

@Aayla thank you for sharing and I absolutely agree we need to respect each other’s paths. Though there may not be judgement with some of us older gen in the community, it is still difficult to comprehend how a lifestyle we have all lived for eons is now being completely redefined by 1 generation in what feels like the period of 10 years. It feels like it's too much, like it's being forced or manufactured to find titles for a spectrum that has been fluid for so long. Why forcefully put yourself in a box? Why the what seems like neurotic need for a label (79 new ones now in 5 yrs?) when we have worked so hard to get away from labels to just be free to be? 


I feel like this is parallel to the Stizzy epidemic messing up this new gen’s mental stability causing high levels of delusions. Working in mental health, the level of drug use increase has increased exponentially and has been directly proportional to a massive spike in a mental health epidemic. Do you think there is a parallel? 
2 replies
User Profile: Aayla
Aayla September 15th
@courageousKite3480 making parallels between the need to find words to describe oneself and drug use / mental health issues is far more offensive than you seem to realize. I understand having troubles dealing with the new definitions being used, but why not simply accepting that what works for us does not necessarily work for other people? Fighting for the freedom to not be labelled is great, but labels are fine as long as a person picks one for themselves without forcing others to do the same. Some people legitimately prefer avoiding labels and others feel more comfortable being able to define themselves through a specific word, there's nothing wrong with it and it's surely not a "neurotic" need, just a different way of seeing things. And it doesn't harm anyone, as people who use a relatively new label to define the specificity of their identity don't force you to do the same for yourself.
1 reply
User Profile: courageousKite3480
courageousKite3480 OP September 15th

@Aayla thank you for sharing so eloquently, I most definitely don’t mean to offend. I have more of a logical/intellectual way of assessing spikes in patterns, especially ones that are directly proportionate and in the same population. It’s only logical to consider the parallel, I mean no offense to anyone. I appreciate your feedback, it gave me some new perspectives, thank you again for sharing. 

load more
load more
load more
User Profile: meltingstones
meltingstones November 28th

@courageousKite3480

I am from the older generation. I hear you, and imagine - based on so many times I've felt it in myself - there are feelings of disorientation and confusion in you when confronted with the reality of how things are different than before. When it comes to drawing analogies, it is helpful for me to consider how the phenomenon of "generational gap" manifests in so many different ways, about so many different issues - and this is just one of many examples. 

One thing I struggle with, is that the feeling of being "outdated" is closely accompanied by feeling "irrelevant" (to human society, to the future). This can bring up deep existential anxiety, that then leads to shutting down and a sense of needing to stay anchored in, or defend, my generation's perspective as the "correct" one. Again, I invite myself to lean into how this experience extends beyond this particular instance of feeling outdated, but is a general trend throughout the western world when it comes to the struggles of getting older. Questions arise in me such as: does all of the hard-won lessons and wisdom I gained through my life, have no value now because the environmental context has changed? What does it even mean to be an "elder" anymore?

Yes, things change so quickly now, and faster than ever before. In 10 years is an entirely different generation. 10 years from now, those who are coming of age today may feel just as I am feeling now, in contact with them. I don't have any value judgements of it - it just is.... and I am just witnessing, being with what is.... 

Thank you for your courage to share about your experience. I am happy to continue exchanging with you.

User Profile: IsaSilver
IsaSilver December 2nd

I may be biased, but being trans myself, I think while some conflict has always existed, it became more pronounced when same-sex marriages became allowable, causing a big conservative uproar that was ultimately blamed not entirely fairly on "gender identity" stuff. It also didn't help that some trans people do act obnoxiously, and in the age of social media, we get to see what the worst of us & the worst of humanity is capable of.


In my day to day life, I personally do not want to engage with the LGBTQ+ community much because I sometimes felt that there is a big divide between me and my fellow trans folk, and also precisely for perceived hostility from LGB communities from some of my past experiences and certain public figures. While I am lucky enough to never have engaged LGB people in person who are hostile to me, I had poor experiences with people online who actually automatically brand trans people as untrustworthy, having a hidden agenda, and wanting to dominate the LGB world. They judged me not based on my interactions with them, and prefer to brand people based on their "flair" and would not hesitate to harm those who they consider to be supportive of trans people. The thing I cannot accept is that they also teach people in their communities to do the same, to judge people based on their labels, but not on their individual merits.


I do understand that it's only a small group of people who are that way, and perhaps they have been hit with the same from some other obnoxious trans folks and did that out of retaliation, it still felt a bit saddening for me as part of the trans community. To make things worst, I think conservatives realized they lost the battle on same-sex marriage so they are now doing everything to weaken the overall movement, by peeling off one letter at a time.


Ultimately, I believe that we are stronger together, and that all people, trans or not, should learn to accept others just as we accept ourselves for who we are and wearing our own "flair" with pride. I am sad to see that somehow, that became lost in translation when the more vocal factions of the two sides communicate with each other, which was aggressively taken advantage of by conservatives. I can only try to be a good example, but ultimately, I know I am nothing and I am nobody in how this whole thing play out.