What Am I?

@StrugglingIzzy12 can I ask, why is it important for you to fit into a particular label? You know how you feel, I think you seem pretty aware of your emotions (complicated as they may be!), why need to stick yourself in a preconstructed box?

I don

@StrugglingIzzy12 you belong just by virtue of existing. Some people say there are as many sexualities/romantic orientations as there are people: because every single person will experience attraction, love, desire, etc all uniquely. No two lesbian women will have the same experience, nor two asexual people, and so on. There really is no "wrong" when it comes to emotions. You do feel these things, they're a true experience for you. No arbitrary label that is just used to describe a collection of similar feelings will change that.

I know how hard it can be to be on the questioning phase. It sounds like you want some things but at the same time you're not comfortable with them, and it all feels weird to you. Sometimes, this can be a sign that one has some sort of psychological block towards sex or romantic feelings. Desiring something but not feeling "natural" about it can sometimes be due to something that conditions us and lead us to associate negative thoughts about it, consciously or not. If this can't be explained with any negative past experience or something that happened around you and conditioned you, then it could be simpler than that: perhaps you need a strong emotional bond with someone before you actually feel comfortable with the though/desire of sex and feelings.