Confused and Feeling Alone
Hi I’m H, Since quarantine began I’ve been feeling confused about my sexuality which has never ever happened before. I thought maybe I was bisexual bc I’m so comfortable around girls but as time passed I thought demisexual but now I think I might just be asexual. I enjoy being single and the thought of sex with anyone kinda scares me. I’m 23 and have never been in a relationship. I have great and fulfilling friendships and the thought of a romantic relationship sounds so tiring I don’t feel the need. But I also have a lot of trauma so sometimes I get imposter syndrome that I actually just need to work through the trauma then I’ll be “normal”
Hi H, thank you for sharing this with us here. It sounds confusing but I hope you find the answers you're looking for down the road as well.
I probably went through the exact same emotions as you while figuring myself out. I think maybe the hesitation is because it’s so scary to think of yourself as so different from what we’re taught to be as kids. I’d never heard of asexuality until I got to college. I thought maybe I was a late bloomer, or just “hadn’t found the right person”. I tried telling myself that I was gay, or bi/pan, or demi, or “faking it” just because I didn’t want to feel so alienated from society. I still face imposter syndrome; maybe I just want to feel “special” or maybe I’m just “scared” of sex and relationships. But a lot of us feel this way, and you don’t owe anyone an explanation or a label (not even yourself). But figuring yourself out (whether you’re ace, demi, or other) needs to come from a place of “I am who I am, and I deserve to be here.” I wish you the best of luck! Love come from within, but this community loves you too.
sorry about the super late reply. I just wanna say thank you!! I really appreciate what you said and it really resonated with me. It’s like you knew exactly what thoughts crossed my mind. “I am who I am and I deserve to be here” is so powerful I’ve started saying it to myself as a reassurance whenever I start feeling overwhelmed. Sending lots of love and gratitude.
