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Are people ok with Ace?

EverywhereEverything February 24th, 2022

I'm sorta realizing now that i'm asexual. I would really love to be in a relationship, but so many people think that no sex is an ultimate deal breaker.

I don't think I could ever try to get myself to enjoy sex. Thinking about it I'm repulsed and disgusted, and it just makes me feel that no one could ever want to be with me.

I was asked a couple months ago if I was a virgin and when I replied with no the person who had asked and the surrounding people were mystified. It almost felt humiliating, because not only had I never had sex but I didn't ever wan't to have sex.

Can I ever be in a healthy relationship without having sex? I wan't to think this is true, but right now I just cannot think of an instance where it is.

7
KatePersephone February 24th, 2022

@EverywhereEverything hey there! thank you for sharing this with us. it's brave of you!

i am not part of the asexual umbrella, but i still would like to share my experience with you:

my partner and I - a long-distance relationship -have been in a relationship for 3 years now, and we did not have sex even once. we mainly focused on emotional bonding, romantic bonding, and so on. sex was never really that important for us, even on times where we would see each other.

to be honest with you, the majority is not well educated on the topic of asexuality, and you might often meet people that do not understand what it means and that probably don't really support it, but there sure are people who do not focus on sex and don't find it as an important part in a relationship (trust me, there are such people). so, yes, you can be in a healthy relationship without sex.

turquoiseHemlock900 March 9th, 2022

One can have a healthy and happy romantic relationship without sex. I've known a variety of asexual people who have found happiness with non-asexual partners, as well as some people who have ended up with fellow asexuals. It all depends on the individuals.

Larsofthestars March 12th, 2022

Hi @EverywhereEverything,

Don't worry a lot of people under the ace umbrella, such as myself have had thoughts about this before. The simple answer is that yes, it is possible for people on the ace spectrum, even sex-repulsed people to be in living, and happy relationships with ace and allosexual partners. Yes, it can be a little harder for us to find supportive and understanding partners, but just know it is not impossible. Although many people may make you believe that sex is essential to a relationship, there are many others, ace and allo that value the emotional connection in the relationship over sex. Just keep looking, we are out there.

raspberryyyy March 12th, 2022

I feel you. Facing the same problem. Wanna talk more about it?

3 replies
EverywhereEverything OP March 17th, 2022

@raspberryyyy honestly? yeah

2 replies
raspberryyyy March 17th, 2022

How to reach out to you directly? Whatsup? Instagram? Anything else?

1 reply
EverywhereEverything OP March 19th, 2022

@raspberryyyy

haha can't share socials. there can be some wack people. i also don't have social media

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