∆My confusing dude Journal∆

@BlaiseAce

Today was not good, not bad, just plain boring. I've mostly stayed on my phone all day, I felt twice as tired as usual, and I wanted to exercise but I didn't have strength or time.

I'm not discouraged because in the last 2 weeks I've managed to train every day (for 30 min), and this is already a great result for me, so one missed day won't be so bad. 

I definitely used my phone too much today, I didn't even notice what I was eating for breakfast. 

At the end of the day I managed to be minimally productive and did a bit of research for books I want to read,

The genre I was looking for is  horror/dystopia. My all time favorite series is Alice in Borderland. And I wanted to look for some books with similar vibes. I call it futuristic apocalyptic. 

I'm a little annoyed with my parents because yesterday they scolded me for not decorating the X-mas tree, and today that I started decorating , they scolded me for something else. I'm trying ok. 

Today I felt sluggish.

Like when you're living the day but your mind isn't there. Pretty much all my days are like this.

I don't know if it will do me much good to write here, but at least I'll keep myself accountable. 

Here I am again, honestly I'm already struggling to write something.

Early in the morning I was bored so I wanted to try some new earrings, fake earrings, I just wanted to see how they looked on me. I also took some photos, for my ins-ta. eventually my ear became super red,  but they looked good on me, I looked like an elf.

it took me a while to prepare breakfast (protein pancakes), and I was a little discouraged bc last night I didn't sleep at all. I was all confused.

In fact I didn't last long doing the workout, i had to stop, I was out of strength.

That's exactly why I'm training and I hope it will get easier. 

I watched some YT, (videogame playthrough) , I was so tired that my eyes hurt and I only half understood the concepts. 

I didn't put much effort into lunch, I ate leftovers. 

I put on makeup,  I wanted to feel a little confident, But it had the opposite effect, I saw myself as fr ugly. (even though I then looked at some photos I took of myself and I was fine, idk).

We went to the mall, to get some things, unfortunately my mood has only gotten worse, when I was hoping it would cheer me up to go out a bit.

We were there for a short time because we were tired.(Me and family)

And then I went back home feeling worse than before.

Oh one thing I managed to do I finished the Christmas wishlist (that I was writing for a few days) and I am very satisfied.

Today I tried to do positive things but they didn't have much effect on my mood. 

I hope that tomorrow will be better and that it's just tiredness.

Is so ironic that there is drama on        cups 7 even though it's supposed to be a 'safe' and 'relaxing' place.

Anyway, let's talk about my day.

This morning I started watching the series paranormal park, I didn't really feel like watching any TV series or films in general, And I was like let's try to watch something short.

I really liked it, I watched 5 episodes in a row. Well I should have expected it since I usually love watching animated series.

I finished around noon. And I had breakfast with cereal (protein cereal)

Then I started working out and I managed to do 30 minutes so I'm satisfied. But in the end I was dead tired. 

At 4 I ate lunch , Piadina with sausage and mayo.

And the rest of the day nothing of any importance happened I just ate dinner and then I was on the phone.

One thing that surprised me was that I had more energy towards the afternoon. So the rest was of some use.

Did I do anything productive with that energy? No, but I need to work on that.

I wanted to use YT lately I've been ignoring it, but I just didn't have enough concentration to choose a video and above all to stay there watching it.

Yes I know I'm weird.

Ok I don't feel like writing.

But I should try

This morning I watched some YT (vlogmas of Kendall Watson) she very funny, retable and usually brings me comfort. 

We went to eat lunch at Mc, nothing special, we go there often on weekends so I'm used to it (there were more people than usual but there was still room to sit down)

After that we went to a nearby shop, and I bought a set for diamond painting, I want to try , so if I like it I have a new hobby. (yes I'm desperately looking for a hobby since I don't have any)

My mood was better than the other days, maybe I was just tired and had a cold. (I finally took aspirin lol)

And the fact that I started the day watching YT helped me. also bc it occurred to me that it would be cool if I wore a bandana, a cool bandana. So I watched a tutorial on yt the guy was really dumb, But he inspired me to tie my bandana tight, very thigh. 

Another thing, I wanted to buy a plushie but it was too expensive so I took a picture of it, bc its a Staarrrrrr

It rocks hard
Yes I didn't space anything bc I'm too lazy 

I absolutely have to share this

These would be the books I want (for now)

Vicious - Victoria E. Schwab (Fantasy/Paranormal)

Mistborn : the final empire -Brandon Sanderson (High Fantasy)

Battle Royale- Koushun Takami (Horror/Dystopia)

Parable of the sower
-Octavia E. Butler (Sci-fy/Distopia)

Flow My Tears, the Policeman Said-Philip K. ***, (sci-fy/dystopia)

In the Woods- Tana French (mystery/detective)

Then there are the recommended ones 

The only good indians(Horror) ???

Piranesi-Susanna Clarke (Magical realism/mithology) ???

I who have never know men- Jacqueline Harpman (Literally Fiction/Distopia) 

Scyte (Distopia/sci-fy) ???

Song of Achille(mithology)???

Jade city (urban fantasy) ??? [rec. by Emily fox] 

All the sinners bleed  S.A. Cosby (Thriller/ Mistery) [Rec. by Pretty in pupercuts] 

Monstrilio -Gerardo Sámano Córdova(Horror) [Rec. by Ali do is read] 

 A Dowry of Blood-S.T. Gibson (Horror)

The Goblin Emperor-Katherine Addison(Fantasy/slice of life) 

[Rec. by BookswithEmilyFox]

I put question marks next to the ones I'm not quite sure if I like. If you have read any of these let me know if it is overrated or if I should read it asap 

If you want to recommend books to me Please unleash 🦅

I was rereading my first few pages and realized I sounded robotic, I was exhausted, you can see.

Here I am again 

For breakfast I had a cereal bowl (with whey protein obviously) I finished a mini-series that I was watching and there is no ending, it is pending as usual, I swear every series I watch is never completed (either it has been cancelled or it takes at least years to come out the next season)

I did the workout.  this time I did even more 40 min, I had to take several breaks because I was out of breath.

My cat didn't help.

I also posted my Book List , nobody cared, so I posted it somewhere else too. I care about this list, books have been my obsession for a few years and I want to use my mystical knowledge.

However, I know that I get too paranoid about social media. So im trying to be positive.

I had lunch late as usual, my sister said that maybe her boyfriend gives us his PlayStation 4 (he received the Play 5 as an advance gift, that lucky ***) 

I hope that they don't fight anymore during this period because I want that play lol

I continued watching paranormal park and finished the first season, and I have to say it's good but it doesn't appeal to me, I like complicated series where there are a thousand things going on. And it will be me but the 'Pauline part' and the ending were obvious.

I don't think I'll continue.

And that's all for today

I started writing here bc I wanted to vent my emotions,it didn't happen.

I think I'm so used to keeping everything inside that it's hard for me to express my feelings. 

Hey fellow Humans

Back at it again

This morning I was doing a thousand things at once. I had to:

-I woke up 10am (yes it was late)

-Make breakfast 

-Workout (1h)

-Drink water 

-Shower 

-Eat breakfast 

-Make lunch 

-Eat lunch 

And all this before 3pm.

Bc we had to go on the big X-mas shopping. 

So I don't have much to report I watched some YT.  Always Kendall lol, I have watched the vlogmas Day 17 (that would be yesterday)

It was also short (26min) luckily I didn't watch the one on Monday which lasts an hour so I can watch that one(Day 16)

She hasn't published today's one yet, As soon as she posts it I'll be there. 

Yes I'm her best fan

I also watched polkadotpigeon, she so retable, I swear. Is a Q&A so even better, I admit I didn't watch it all (it was literally an hour)  But I will definitely finish it (Im like at 37 min)

This evening that's practically it now , I want to watch a series, I'm undecided whether to finish watching Agatha All Along or to start watching season 2 of Arcane. 

If you're here and you're bored like me, feel free to recommend me some series (even though I'm so chronically online that I might have already watched them all)

Oh also yt, your fav youtuber, or some video on yt that you are like crazy over, whatever you want

Ok that gif is giving me a seizure,ignore it

And then it bothers me like the spacing of the words arghh

every time I write something it always comes out different from how I write it, but not in a good way, in a bad way