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Seeking Comfort Under The Shadows - Deep thoughts 💛

User Profile: amiableBunny4016
amiableBunny4016 2 days ago

hello fellow friend,

i'm not sure if you know me, but you may call me bunny if you so wish to. (i know, so interesting right? xD)  I've grown kind of bored of chat rooms and my diary thread and although I will continue using them, this is just a fresh page for me to lean on for a while. 

this is a corner where i share what goes on in my mind, and what happens in the depths of my thoughts, whether it's about evil, curiosity, intelligence, life, emotions, anything and everything can go in here. 

I'll write here whenever I find the energy to do so and whenever I get random depressing thoughts at 1am (there is something magical about the night!) 

I hope anyone will enjoy reading, and whilst responses are welcome please keep it on topic and not random irrelevant stuff, for the sake of this thread. 

Best wishes,

Bunny


2
User Profile: amiableBunny4016
amiableBunny4016 OP 2 days ago
So much has changed. So much has passed. Years, months, days, even seconds. People seemed so much more brighter, so much more social, so much more happier when your younger. And suddenly the world grew dark, it grew with hatred and darkness, with this crippling sense of hopelessness and less of hopefulness. And people grow distant, they seem colder than before, uninterested and what came was years of trauma and the cycle of life. People become so dark as you grow older. So maybe hiding, and letting the big voices hold power and ducking our heads slowly moving out of the way, seems like the only way out, the only track we always follow. Because the one haunting belief that we were never good enough, got the best of us. Did society heal, or are we just all falling leaves from rotting trees?
User Profile: amiableBunny4016
amiableBunny4016 OP 18 hours ago

There is comfort in feeling nothing. Total emptiness. It lives and settles in the chest and rests there, slowly draining and filtering every little thing and became quiet weight and slowly I lost the desire to care, to love, or to heal my heart from the wounds that had been inflicted on it. The silence became louder and the empty and hollow space grew. When the world is heavy, and the skies are grey, can you carry the weight of everything on your own? How long will you feel comfort in numbness? in emptiness. I don't want to have to make myself feel something again because maybe that's too much. Or too little to cope with. I force life into my bones, and force happiness upon the heart, because i think that's what people expect of me.

And so I realised, that there is a emptiness and a space when it comes to friendships and people. As i had said before, people grew distant and cold as I got older, but when they are there its so easy to take what's there for granted. So easy to dismiss what's there, and your stuck in the mindset that this reality will stay forever. And suddenly your faced with a gap they've left in your life, once they are gone only then you realise the emptiness of it all. Only then you realise, your just a kid filling in the voids of your life in order to make yourself feel full again. 

There is emptiness everywhere I go. And I've made peace with it. I don't know what's best for me, and what's best for the world, and that's okay. I don't know if I should feel too much or too little of everything, but if its emptiness then let it be. 



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