My Void of Venting
I’ve always wanted to start a journal. I was always worried that it had to be perfect. What if future generations read it? What would they think?
Thats why I created this thread. Because now I can vent into the void so to speak and I don’t have to worry about it being perfect or it even having to make sense. The void doesn’t judge.
I’m not currently wanting anyone to leave comments. Feel free to read my venting if you want but please don’t leaves comments.
Thanks! 🤍
11/11/24
i actually woke up at a reasonable time today. Though I’ve probably ruined it for tomorrow because I stayed up way too late again.
I did however get some laundry done and almost finished that weaving project. I just have to finish the tassels and wash it.
I am going to work on more laundry tomorrow and packing for Idaho.
i did also get two more months done for the calendar.
I enjoy talking to my friend on here. I wish I could open up like they do. I’m just worried that I won’t be accepted. I know it’s a stupid thought but I just can’t stop thinking it.
Why am i so stupid?
I held my tongue with Katelynn but I couldn’t even think when it came to mom. Why couldn’t I have said it wasn’t my favorite or even lied and said it looked good.
but no I h had to make an unintentional rude comment. Now she’s mad at me which is understandable but it’s now spreading out to other people.
it was supposed to be a fun night for her and Katelynn and now I have possibly ruined it. It started a small fight with mom and dad.
i went and hid in a corner of my room hoping that mom wouldn’t have to see me again and would just forget about me so she could still have a fun night.
dad then came down and said that she was just mad at him which is so frustrating because I know she was mad at me and he doesn’t have to defend me like that. It doesn’t change how I feel it just makes it seem like he is making it so I don’t have a reason to be upset. It invalidates my emotions.
now I am just back in the state where I feel stupid and I’m angry at myself. Just the other day I was upset because I felt so alone in a house full of people and now I wish I could just sink into my bed and become invisible.
why is life so hard
11/12/24
I got more laundry done and I got the weaving project fully done.
I started to get things set aside to be packed for Idaho.
mom seemed to have had a good time and she acted as though nothing happened. Which I was glad to see but also annoyed knowing that I was falling apart over it and she had no affects. Why did it have to bother me so much?
anyway, I have work tomorrow and hopefully it goes well
love you human!
11/13/24
work was good, I played plants vs zombies when it was slow.
after work I made that garlic confit for the garlic butter.
I have set aside a hook and some thin yarn to crochet a cord for that little Bluetooth clicker I keep losing. I’m going to do that at work tomorrow when it’s slow.
mom is starting to come back to the church and I am so happy. I’m going to make a cross necklace for her. She was saying she wanted one today.
I’m supposed to be up in 5 hours so I better go to bed.
love you Human!
11/14/24
There were so many frustrating customers today. It was still a good day though. I learned how to crochet leaves and made a lanyard for my little photo clicker.
I made bread with mom and it was a lot of fun. Everything is ready for the trip tomorrow. I was hoping to finish my fingerless gloves before I had to go to bed tonight but I don’t think I’m going to finish.
I am really excited for the trip. I just hope I will have a good amount of patience for people.
Love you Human!
11/15/24
We made it up to Idaho safe. It’s been a lot of fun so far. We had a girls night and watched a movie and made bracelets and painted nails. I really like how mine turned out.
tomorrow we are going to go to a couple stores. Hopefully that will be fun as well
tomorrow is also the main dinner. I really hope everyone likes the rolls mom and I made.
well i better head to bed.
Love you Human!
