My Void of Venting
I’ve always wanted to start a journal. I was always worried that it had to be perfect. What if future generations read it? What would they think?
Thats why I created this thread. Because now I can vent into the void so to speak and I don’t have to worry about it being perfect or it even having to make sense. The void doesn’t judge.
I’m not currently wanting anyone to leave comments. Feel free to read my venting if you want but please don’t leaves comments.
Thanks! 🤍
11/2/24
Today was decent. I didn’t want to go to work but I did.
It went ok. I had fun joking around with some of my coworkers. I was soo frustrated with the assistant manager (DP) today though. I don’t understand how his brain works, some days I question if he even has one. He keeps going against policies and then he gets rude about it. He can be so mean about stuff. I am still proud of myself for standing up to him that one time though.
I was happy to find out that mom and K didn’t forget about our plans. It was just a miscommunication and mom was worried I wasn’t feeling up for it since last night was so stressful.
We had caramel apple bites tonight. We didn’t watch the movie but it was still nice. My fave was definitely the Oreo ones.
I also put some gummy bears and gummy worms into sprite to try that trend. I will let you know how it tastes tomorrow.
Now I’m just chilling in bed, listening to music. Lily is laying on my stomach and purring. She is the best and I hope she does live for another long while. I am terrified for the day I have to say goodbye. I can’t believe she is 15 already.
I wanted to work on my knitting a bit before bed but Lily seems so comfy so I don’t dare disturb her. I’m going to rate the loaf a 8/10. Her tail is poking out and just a little bit of her front paw. Her eyes however are closed and the cute little rumbles are amazing.
I think that’s everything I wanted to talk about at the moment.
Love you Human!
11/3/24
i am soo tired but I really wanted to write. I couldn’t miss a day already. So here I am…. I’m going to go to sleep now 😅
love you human!
11/4/24
Today sucked.
my depression has come back worse than I initially thought. This is the longest depression cycle I’ve had in a while. Normally it’s just a low week and I feel better, not almost a month. At least not for a couple years. I feel like a failure. It’s the stupid thought process that keeps cycling through my head. The one that says I won’t amount to anything. That I shouldn’t have dropped out. That I won’t ever go to college. That I won’t ever get my dream job. That I’m going to be alone my whole life.
I feel like life is moving on and I am just stuck here.
i spent all day in bed. I wanted so badly to clean my room. I wanted to make progress on my knitting. But I couldn’t. I felt like I couldn’t move.
im glad I helped take care of goats though.
I couldn’t even tell mom. I feel like I’m trapped in my mind and I’ve lost control of my body. I was standing there yelling at myself to tell her that I need help. That I wanted to talk. But my stupid mouth wouldn’t work. All I could say was goodnight. I even smiled!
and the worst is I so badly want to cry but of course I can’t. I hate being someone who rarely cries. I wish I could. It always helps relieve some tension. Whoever said crying about doesn’t help was clearly wrong.
im hoping that this too will pass like it normally does. It just seems to be taking its sweet time.
hopefully I will have a bit more energy tomorrow.
love you human!
