Life gets more boring with time

I really want to leave the house because being stuck indoors all day gets boring after a while.

But I also don't want to because of sensory overload, public transport being delayed, and all kinds of problematic interactions with strangers.

you know it's getting that bad when your arm is aching from self-harm, your throat is hurts because of smoking weed pretty much every day, your house is an unhygienic tip making you even more confused and overwhelmed in general but you can't be bothered to clean it, and you enjoy reminiscing on robotripping for the first time more than you actually enjoy doing it (back when you could do it in public without feeling like utter *** on the comedown, instead of having to do it at home just to make being stuck in the house all day less boring)

I'm clingy by becoming this way because I haven't seen my brother in ages.I'm a primitive dinosaur NPC by taking an interest in numerology etc ("how superstitious?").