Journal: My Nook
I'm going to make this my journal. To express myself and my thoughts. So I don't go crazy! Be warned of the path that bestows ahead of you traveller. 🫡
Most likely it will be just rants, venting, or some way to get my mind off stuff. I will take advice, comments, and questions (depending how intricate). I'm open to just chattin it up too. With every entry I'll write a word that described my day.
I'll just start off for today's entry Perseverant
I think today was fine. As most days are. My dad is sick these last two days. Im taking care of him. And the pets. Yesterday I had 2 job interviews that went fine; 1 for a Rbt therapist another for a Substitute teacher assistant and that night I spoke with my sister about how we could help our financial situation better, with saving more and cutting out some stuff also we include our mom more. For Rbt i would need to commit to it. The sub one is good, but I need to take tests and I dont have insurance yet so Im also trying to get that for my sister and I. The process is annoying.
Im introverted and dont really like being around people for a long time, but im adaptable and i manage, and when it goes nice its nice. I understand being an Rbt is demanding and that it'll take effort. But I do like to help, i just think i would be more of a background assistance. But i my parents especially disliked the idea or working with austic children. They just base everything on their experiences around them as the whole situation. I dont how true it is, but they say most of those children are violent and chaotic. That their personalities switch up. I argued with my dad about it; I always try to let him see that not everyone is a certain way. Or just being the neutral guy. So i guess that job isnt for me. :/ But mainly because of the commitment and they want me to study for their certificates and i want somewhere, to where i work and come home to do a certification for me. So thats where the Substitute Assistant comes in. I actually like that idea, but like i said insurance and doctors. So i guess ill be holding off for longer. 😮💨
Im sick of feeling useless and I want to be more. I know im not much of a person. So if not for myself. Ill perservere for my puppy. Hes everything to me right now. And ill be better for him. Hes smart, pretty, and silly. Hes a precious boy. ❤️ Tbh i think he saved me. Ever since i got him i became more productive and less slow and think about more than the present. I feel myself being more responsible and i want to maintain if not push further. Idk. I mean even saying that, I question.... does that make me pathetic? Am i that low? But hey ill just leave that there.
I felt like I was being grumpy today I dont want to. I dont want to be pessimistic or negative, but im told i am. I thought k was realistic, but sometimes i do realize i could've been more optimistic. Maybe i have a resting 🐶 face but i even felt it inside today. While grocery shopping, I felt like idk grumpy cat. I told my dad about saving and cutting back, but my sister and he still get their wants. We’ve saved more, though. I don’t want to be cheap or sour. I just don’t need much in life. I have dreams and wishes, but they’re just that, and I can focus on what I need. Still, part of me hold me back that just wants to relax and chill. It saddens me how much money can hold people back and take a piece of them, but that’s another rant.
This is my 4th forum post and Ive realized after writing each one. I do actually feel better. And this one is after a while from the last. So hm maybe something is working.
Hey! I make my text into colors! :D

Dissapointment
I got sick, same sickness my dad had. And boy do i hate uncontrollable vomiting. 4th day tho and i feel as close to normal as i can. I normally remember my dreams to a degree, but i didnt remember this one and i just felt the emotions from jt, anxious and scared.
i also baked peanutbutter cookies today. And a lot if not most came out burnt. 1 batch were burnt so i threw em out. The next were better. 1 batch was nice looking but the bottoms are always fricken burnt. I scraped it off. My sister said she liked them. I used to be pretty good at baking. I dont know what happned with my senses but i keep burning stuff or leaving it too long. I put timers and stuff too. GAHGHH. Feels like im failing. But i saved a lot for my dad. And hopefully i can take some to my moms house. Shes very snobby and judgy so ill see. ð«¤
Empowered
I know its a basic thing and its not that much of a big deal but..
I passed my road test and got a driver's license now!! :D
im grateful for my dad for teaching me everything and to the instructor yesterday who reviewed everything with me and to the inpector for being kind and patient with me. I had my road test yesterday and it was soo cold, but i wore layers. And i thought positive which even i am surprised i was able to do. I thought to myself I can do this. And im gonna ace it so im glad. Also apparently the parking, reverse and 3point turn is the hard part for people, but for me it was the easiest. I mean that just relies on me so i know i can do it. The street driving is what worries me in general, cuz theres more dangers and more to focus on. But besides me being kinda slow i did great. So glad for that.
Also I applied to mutiple library assistant jobs. I hope i get them cuz librarian sounds like a really nice jobp and is more my speed, but its ok. And my mom called me today asking what exactly im doing for my future and maybe trying to support me??? Shes very judgemental and condescending so pushing that aside i think she was trying to help.
Also i completely forgot about the picture aspect of a drivers license and i look crazy ;( hah. I had a hat on so i was just focused on the test. Not my looks but OH WELL I GUESS. YOU CAN TELL ITS ME. NEXT TIME ILL LOOK NICER. (im not playing for another picture noe going back to the dmv they suck)
Overall pretty good day :D ✨️