I hate myself
Yes i hate myself but not for the way i look or the way act , i hate myself cuz apparently i never give up on ppl no matter how much they hate me or even if they hurt, i still care about them too much and hate myself too much to the point where i would totally ignore how am feeling and how much am hurting and try to help them feel better.
Even if i didn't know that person i would still completely ignore the fact that there words are hurting me and still try to help them saying to myself " they didn't mean to hurt me they are hurting too " and that's how everything goes wrong every time
I hate myself for caring for everyone else and stop when it comes to caring about me.......
I also hate myself for missing everyone toxic in my life cuz they were the only people who really understood how am feeling.
@Noor511
I hear that but maybe it is a strength in some circumstance? Like you can rise above the petty insecurities of man and tap into universal love. You could be a Buddhist or something highl spiritual. Hang in there and try not to hate yourself for what may turn out to be your greatest strength
@Noor511 When we've kindness in our hearts we tend to think that the people around us are also that way and that's where our mind just tries to come up with any excuse it can make up to not paint those people in a bad light.
It's very hard to comprehend that there are people out there who are just evil for no reason, that there are people who don't deserve the goodness of our heart and it is very sad that they have the heart to say hurtful things which we keep on forgiving.
I don't think your quality of forgiving and just wanting to support is something to hate on but I do understand where you are coming from. I'm sorry that you found people who made you hate something that should have been praised. I hope you find people who appreciate you for the kind being that you are <3
@BlueDarkAurora it's not about forgiving them necessarily mostly even pretend it didn't even happen or just giving excuses for them for hurting me, thanks for your nice words it means a lot
@Noor511 to keep them in your life? If so I really hope you find yourself surrounded by people for whom you would have to give no such excuses. I'm so proud of you for keeping your kindness alive through all the difficulties <3
@BlueDarkAurora yeah maybe am always afraid of losing people i love, thanks 💗
@Noor511 understandable<3 People who want to stay in your life will make efforts to stay :)
@BlueDarkAurora true 😕
@Noor511 no worries<3 some day all the people who never made an effort will realise that they lost someone so kind and caring from their lives. And you'll be in a far better place surrounded by love.
I didn't expect that to be so profound but yes from that perspective I hate myself too. Sucks.
I'm practicing boundaries (Open, closed, varying degrees of open and closed.), watching helpful YouTube videos, focusing on being around positive people (Or alone.), hobbies and interests and setting goals with affirmations.
@communicativePond1728 but how can someone put boundaries? Or even boundaries about supporting others, am still trying to figure it all out hopefully one day it will be better for both of us 💗
@Noor511 Yeah if there's one thing that has been hard for me to even begin to nail down it is boundaries.
🎵"How do you solve a problem like boundaries? How do you catch a cloud and pin it down? How do you find a word that means boundaries?" 🎶 I stole this from 'The Sound of Music' and replaced the main characters name with boundaries hehe.
Here's a brief and helpful explanation of what setting boundaries both is and isn't from counsellor Shannon Thomas:
And here is a boundary practice one can do to help themselves:
You can also work with colour wavelengths when it comes to boundaries:
There's also ways to improve or integrate boundaries in your life using Feng Shui (the art of object placement) and any methodology from astrology to etymology to numerology to herbology and more.
Some basics and foundational practices are:
1. Move furniture you use often closer to windows or other natural light sources. Take a vitamin D supplement with magnesium (body doesn't produce magnesium and we needs it) if you're without enough natural light sources to prevent SADD.
2. Concurrently make sure your bedroom is dark as possible. I'm talking vanta black.
3. Eat often. Just a bit. Mostly plants. The goal is 80% healthy, 20% whatever else.
4. Detox to speed healing. Freeze some kale a bit, chop up, add lemon, olive oil, sea salt and maybe a bit of vinegar. Voila.
5. Get, get, get naked: nudism is healthy! Skinny dip, sunbathe stripped; get sun and water into every single surface you can. Perhaps somewhere out in nature though. Don't cause your uptight neighbors to herniate.
6. Socialize: people in old folks homes live longer when they've got plants. Imagine how long you can live when you got people! Start small with maybe a head nod or smile here or there. Move up to asking people how they are, then what they're passionate about, etc.. Every mini effort and success success will epically fuel positive growth.
7. Hydrate: if you're not sticking water in both ends regularly then what are you even doing with your life amirite
8. Movement: contrary to popular belief (Or at times just my beliefs I should say.) the body has been honed over millenia to move. Think movement. Join an outdoor sport, meetup group or walking club. 'Twalks' are Harvard approved as not much beyond art is proven to be as therapeutic. And to be fair walking and taking are both art forms in their own right. Mix 'em together and voila! Secret sauucccce.
9. Breathing: so it's probably important to do this pretty consistently. At least ever four minutes if you please. Singing is just a noisy form of artful breathing so belt it out in the shower or the car then give yourself a standing ovation and a Grammy for being so damn oxygenated and healthy.
10. That's all I can think of right now.
Good 👏🏼 hope that helps a bit. Any questions please ask. I need to shower before I go full ruffian mcragamuffin.
This card came out while I was looking for the boundaries card so I'm adding it for bonus points and much funzies.
Also I dunno if you can even read the boundaries card so I'll post it again.
Watermelon and magenta were also peeking out which are "have fun with your inner child" and "connect to your deepest inner knowing".