Attack log #1 (just posting this to see what happens)

I had a panic attack leaving English. 

a guy, lets call him jake, that I've been talking to for about 4 months confessed to me about 1 month ago. I thought "he likes me so I must like him back... right?", I told him right away that I wasn't ready for a relationship and he said he was fine with that. he started calling me names and shi, giving me flowers, etc. and I felt overwhelmed. when the person you like does stuff like that for you, it should make you happy right? it only made me feel anxious and scared. sure it made me happy at the beginning, but eventually it got to the point where I was having panic attacks during class. about a week ago I told him that I didn't like him and what I think was the reason why I told him I liked him. he said he could tell. I asked if we could still be friends, and he said sure. 

now that I've come to terms with the fact that he likes me a shi ton and I don't like him at all, I don't know how to act around him. whenever I see him all I think is, "he wants to hold my hand", "he wants to kiss me", or "he wanted me to be his girlfriend". the main part that scares me is how he thinks of me sexually. one time he saw me in a skirt outside of school and absolutely freaked out. its constantly stuck in my head that he thinks of me that way, so during class I always feel extremely uncomfortable. I know it isn't his fault, its normal I get that. but still. 

anyways, I've successfully avoided walking with him to class/talking to him in person for the past week by leaving class earlier than him. he hasn't stopped me or anything, which thank GOD.

today I failed at trying to leave class earlier than him. I walked out of the class first, he was like- 6 feet behind me maybe, (context: my school has a room called the "Safe Space" where you can come in and take a breather/talk to an adult if you're having a rough day, and its literally right across from my English room) so I speed walk to the safe space and by the time I get in there my legs are weak and my hands are shaking like crazy. I could barely breath. 

welp, I wrote this right after it happened to calm down. I have to go to class now :,)

woo hoo my first attack log lets gooooooo.