are you okay?

im usually pretty good at masking myself...i do it all the time...if anyone suspects if anything is wrong with me...i shut them up with "im alright" or "im fine"...but today was really hard...i was struggling to put on a smile..to act out this perfectly happy and normal girl i call myself...its exhausting to keep up with this persona and i do not want to live in denial and knowing i wasn't an option i braced myself for another day...i could feel myself get agitated and i wanted it to stop...i could feel myself losing ....these emotions rushing to the surface prepareing myself for the worst...but then i saw someone staring...they could see right through me...they sensed something wrong with me and walked right to me and after a long pause they said "Are you okay?"...i had been asked this question before but it was something in the way in which they asked...i knew they cared in what i had to say...struggling to keep myself together i could feel my insecurities on display...my walls were crumbling down and i felt a lump in my throught my eyes started tearing up...my mask was my safty net it helped me get through it everyday...it as the only thing i could rely on to cover up this hurt and pain and now it was gone..i coulnt find the right words to say ...i felt speechless...so i told them"i couldn't tell the last time i felt okay" ...i couldnt get myself to shrug it off and couldnt lie...i couldnt force another smile...not anymore...i couldnt even come up with a silly excuse...so i did hat i knew i could i broke down...i cried.