Today's session, drained but feeling better

Had my psychiatrist session today with my caseworker sitting in and I feel so much better knowing that a med change is happening because I don't know how much longer the loud could keep building to the point I fixed it on my own, which is never a good idea for me (or anyone) the points outlined and the decisions concluded are again pointing to psychosis being very prominant which isn't new to me as others have said that before but medicated for only the anxieties and paranoia, what differnce there is is that I'm going back to a medication I had a good relationship with before that helped more with this hallucinogenic pattern that happens with me. Also it allows me to keep the anxieties and paranoias under control.

I've been seen by many health professionals (since I've been medicated) as to sane, which scares me because they have only medicated for what I present symptom wise on the day of our session for and don't really understand my case, so being able to have my caseworker with me today was a help. Most doctors (psychiatrists/psych registrars) I see I only see maybe once or twice because of their hospital rotations or they are retiring.

I just hope that this calms me down and allows me to regain some assemblance or normalcy of routine so I don't end up in hospital again because I have done so well keeping myself out of hospital with everything else I've achieved in the last 18+ months.

I feel so drained after a session like this every session I have honestly not just a medication review, my body feels so wormn out like I've run a good 16km or so (about 10 miles) at full pelt without stopping. I don't stop for a breath if asked how I am or what my thoughts are and I at times go off on many tangets of thought similar to a tree branch for visual representation, which I didn't to bad with today but it still happened. Just one other learning experience I'm undertaking along side everything that is going on.

Thank you for allowing me to write this off my chest, hehe! and for taking the time to read (if you have).

- Ink