Thoughts and Emotions

It must have pained quiet a lot considering your nature, but you still don't show that to anyone. You pretend to be a strong person, trying their best to put on a mask that you aren't weak, to yourself, to others. It must have been crushing, taking a decision that you knew you'd regret it, you would have even cursed yourself for taking a decision too. It's okay, if you think it was a mistake, own it, if you have guilt, own it. Don't deny your true feelings, don't deny your own self, you don't have anyone other than yourself. If you lied to them too, how else will it work out? You wanted to feel loved, you wanted to feel pampered, you wanted to be cared for too, but you always denied that, it was shown by your expressions, it was reflecting in your eyes, that you were lying, you did it to protect yourself and for others to not make them worried for you, as you believed you didn't need anyone. That too was a lie. Your own perception is of that one which doesn't allow you to free of the restraints that hold you back. Your own perception is the one which cannot accept the love, which cannot accept new things, which cannot accept good things. It must have hurt right? fighting that and giving up even though when you tried your best.