:/

Just a rant:

a couple weeks ago I began slowly slipping into a depression (again) and I knew what was happening (like always) so I reassured myself that I can get through it. I just needed to wait until the holiday break where I'd be travelling to a warm sunny place and going on a nice cruise, making friends and forgetting troubles. Well, its the holidays now. No cruise. No warmth. No friends. No christmas. Nothing. So now i'm depressed.

its odd now cause my depression has changed ever since my cousin passed. We werent all that close but Charlie (my cousin) was transgender like me. They lived in Quebec where the schools deny students their identities and well.. now Charlie is gone.

anyways, I always get kinda scared whwn this stuff happens cause once it gets bad, there's little I can do. Plus it feels like theres a distance rn between me and every one of my support people. AND my therapist cant' see me till january 7th.

it all sucks and I feel bad about saying it sucks cause I know its dumb for me to be depressed. My life looks like paradise on the outside. My problems are all so minuscule but they still suck. Idk