Sad Thoughts, Life Thoughts, World Thoughts, Shadow's Thoughts
My original intention of joining this website was to share my story. Find my voice and relate to otherss. along the way gripped by despair i lost my sight of the intention. I have indeed declined inside myself. I'm becoming overwhelmed I am breaking down slowly chipping away at my foundation. This "new start" is trying to be my "new end" but I won't let it destroy me or take my body or mind away from me. I have to slowly work up the strength from my buried face. I realize that this gut-wretching sadness, is my story as well. It's all my story, it's a new page of my suffering on this earth. I am faced by grief. I have all of my life falling apart. It is being torn apart so I can change and go onto the next page. It doesn't have to meet it's conclusion, just start a new chapter. Whether this new chapter is the same theme, or shifts from it's course.. Being narrated as we speak. Constantly built, spoken, moved, unmoved, felt, intensity. That's all I got for now.
i felt dat shiiThey are grown adults they don't need me interrupting their lives. I want to get out and live as a single person. I am an adult and I don't need to be needed by anyone else anymore. I should only be needed by myself. I'm sick of ruining lives by crashing at places I don't belong in. I'm sick of the gossiping. I'm sick of it all.
The world wants me to be an author I have to write its the thing i have to do no matter what I need to get a book i need do to this i can't let what I say fade into nothingness i can't lose the voice I have been granted.
I don't have the energy to form an opinion about you. If you so want me to, I won't bother. People's just spreading lies about me. So you laugh at the thought of me having schizophrenia like it's something impossible for me to have. What would you know anyway? I hate this game they are playing, making up things I never said. I hope I get out of here soon.