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I have friends both in real life and online, but sometimes I look back and I get the feeling no one really has time to care if I ever wanted to share what bothers me day to day. So I don't say a word. It's really easy to appear fine but I end up coming home to my room and feeling like the ceiling is falling in. I don't know what I want. If I talk to people, I'll feel bad that I'm bothering them, which I'm obviously doing since everyone is so busy. Yes I have parents who want the best for me, maybe too much, somehow over the year I gave up explaining myself to them. It's less upsetting to just be alone and to vent in other ways. But nothing really helps. I'm probably too sensitive and I give up. I don't know how useless I am when it comes to helping others if I can't even be happy myself. What am I even saying, the point is that I don't know myself. There is so much I don't know that I want to give up. So badly. I'm really useless to myself and to others. And the mistakes I have made. I don't know what to do I can't fix them. And I need to go finsh homework since that's all I can do. It's really something that's nothing special is it?

I wonder if it's okay to keep writing like this. I really hope that since it's a publlic website, a few posts won't get in anyone's way. I'm just anxious and probably scared. And maybe acting like the stupid teen I am. Haha I heard that hormones cause way too many problems. Maybe it's best to disregard everything. But I must be writing for some reason that I can't even figure out myself.

I found something to look forward to. So the stupid spells don't last as long. I'm going to fix what I can't fix in a comic. If I can draw, then I can make a world where people can be happy I suppose. I want to succeed so badly; it's going to be amusing to come back in a year and see what I wrote.