My journal
Hello, I'm Iza and I have self esteem issues because of how my parent were over ambitious and they did not allowed me to be imperfect. I had to deserve going out with friends by helping in home with something. I couldn't have grades lower then the 5(out of 6). When I scored lower I was told what I've been doing last days and that this is why I have lower grades. Anyway there is much more to it but I am now trying to fix what I've created it my head through many years. I am now over ambitious for myself. And I never feel like I've done enough. It's weird for me to have a day without doing anything productive. I feel like I cannot just be like average person and that I have to be better. Sometimes it's good for me when I achieve nice things but most of the time it's quite bad for my mental health and I am always disappointed with myself. So it's been around 4 months since I realised that I feel this way because of the way my childhood looked like. I'm thinking of going to therapy but for now I am trying to discover some solutions myslef now when I'm aware of that.
@Iza111510- congratulations to you for recognizing that striving for high scores is taking a toll on your mental health. It seems you are so not alone in this trend for perfectionism. Having your parents expectation is a big weight for you to carry alone. Only you know if going to therapy is a positive step in maintaining sound mental health.. Please take care of yourself- I hope you are able to express to your parents how working towards this goal is impacting your health. I wish you the best. Hugs.
Thank you. It's nice to know I'm not alone in this problem. Do you have anything to recommend if it comes to personal improving self-esteem?
@Iza111510- under "my path" there are now new paths. It is a bit busy looking- but "self confidence and self esteem" is a pathway. Good luck with this. Personally I use my desktop to navigate this site- easier to find things. Also there are many listeners who are available for 1:1 chats on this subject. Again it is easier to look using a laptop- you can browse listeners with a specific request.
I wish you the best in your journey- you are not alone. There are lots of resources here to support you. Hugs.
@Iza111510 well done you for recognising this and well done on striving and to be ambitious. However it also sounds like it troubles you as you can't be satisfied. Therapy is a way a forward but only you will know if its right for you. Good luck
@MidnightMoon90 Hello, thank yiou for replying to this post. Yes that's one of my big problems that if it comes to what I do for myslef or anything I am doing, I'm rarely satisfied with what I've done and It's always coming back to me and postove affirmations don't really work for me or I'm not patient enough with them. I'm thinkin about going for therapy at some point but as I'm also quite stuborn I want to firt try searching for something by myslef. It does let me realise some of other problmes so I think it can be useful anyway If I will decide to go for a therapy eventually.
Have you ever tried mindfulness? To try find some inner peace
I did. And it does help me but it just for calming down etc. I feel like it's a great practice but I don't think it will help me alone. It makes me more aware of what I feel but the problem is: why I feel particular way and how can I solve it. It's not influencing my life too big but I feel that in future it might.
@Iza111510 that sounds frustrating for you. With mindfulness you can look at labelling emotions and why you might feel that way.