Mental state or some sort of update. i dunno. im alive anyways

so its been a while since i made a post here and or used this site....

last time i was down in the dumps... pretty badly...

nothing much has changed but i think i might be abit better. now i just feel empty.

i find it hard to cry... which i lowkey kind of what to do now that it is hard.

... anyways... its a new year.....

just a few more months and i will be due with my daughter... (gosh it feels weirds knowing and saying "my daughter"). as i am writing this i can feel her kicking which is so odd. i am experiencing so many new things and i am unsure how to handle it.

i am not doing a great job being healthy, by that i mean eating food and drinking water. i know should and i try but sometimes i just cant seem to move at all. it is 2 am and through out the day (yesterday by now i guess) i didnt eat anything except a bunch of biscuits, a glass of milk and a handful of nuts. not a good plan but i might force myself to eat something after im done writing this... or at 4am

anyways... i felt like giving an update and in a way maybe in the far future i will read this again and think to myself "im glad i got through that" or smth cheesy along the lines. who knows.

im currently not feeling like dying so yay? the degree of my self hatred is currently low (imagine a battery percentage) that aside i am feeling alright... maybe its because it is past midnight.

that being said. i am gonna stop here and come back when i really need to rant or vent