Light (*Off/On*) 's Space

@GoldenLight07 So proud of you. ❤

@Sunisshiningandsoareyou

11/09/22

There is some days where I am tired physically, socially and mentally but when I finally able to go to bed, I couldn't sleep. My mind still keep on racing with a lot of thoughts.

Tonight, it has been one of that day. Physically, I feel so worned out but why is that I can't sleep when I finally able to go to bed? So that's why I am writing here, perhaps after letting some of it, I will able to sleep..

Perhaps this is just some of my over thinking talking to me or because I am too tired that I am not emotionally unstable.. But I somehow feel sad when I feel like I am slowly disconnecting with my father again.

Honestly, I really feel like I was never able to show my true feeling or gratitudes to them. And it's broke my heart to think that I hide so much from them, all the good and the bad pieces of myself.

As I am writing this, I think somehow become more emotional.. And will high likely regret writing these tomorrow morning. But just for now, I want to talk nonsense and let it out..

There are times when I feel overwhelmed or too full of mix emotions that I can't process. And I have no idea the main reason why I am overwhelmed with thoughts or emotions either.. But mostly at that point, it can be hard to follow along all the racing thoughts/emotions and sometime its a bit hard to handle and take that the only thing I can do to relief myself is to cry.

I listen to calm music to help empty my mind usually too.. But since I cant do it right now, yeah..

Why this thing happened exactly? Is it self-destructive or what is this exactly..

I am strong❤ and I will be okay.

Today is a good day.❤ There are a lot of good and positive things I want to write and there are a lot of things that I am thankful for and happy for. I am overfilled with happiness and blessings that. A lot of mix up emotions but still today is such a wonderful day, that I would really be willing to say, "World, I am happy to be living in you."

I will write more later tonight❤

Tonight, I went to the cafe to accompany my friend and help her to carry her luggage and bags, before she go back home for the voting season.. And along that way, I also saw a sea of other students that are also going back home.

Seeing all that, it makes me thought that the idea of going home, makes me feel really excited and happy. And it gives me realization that I am very blessed to have a precious place and group of peoples I can call as home:')❤

I also just realized, throughout the years although it has not been perfect or maybe the same as my expectation but learning to love the flaws and imperfections and accept it as it is, embrace it, and appreciates it along with being happy with what is good in it and the happiness it bring really really bring a different to me.. ❤

And tonight too, I finally able to feel that, "oh yes I am really in this phase now".. :')

I was so packed and busy with camping and then proceeds to finish 3 assignments in around 2+days (finished yesterday night) then today I went to a fun run.. and only one short and chill late evening class,5pm. And then tonight everyone started to go back home for the voting season.. I cannot go back because the flight ticket is expensive and the holiday is only 5days:') so I'm just staying in college dorm..

A thought come across my mind, today I feel so happy and blessed and have a lot of rest and fun, and then after a very busy and packed daysss.. It makes me think, which days are better? The busy and packed days but able to distract myself from all the over think thoughts or the calm days but the over thinking thoughts might slip in unexpectedly somehow

Today is a very wonderful day, but tonight seeing everyone going home, I miss home and my parents more:') After two weeks here, I finally cried.

@GoldenLight07

@Sunisshiningandsoareyou I just saw this , thank you so much🤍🤍 I hope you realize how this small gesture means a lot to me! You are really a wonderful person🤍 thank you for remembering this thread~

@GoldenLight07 Aww, ofcourse! ❤

How have you been?🤗

A new semester has began🤍

There's thing song I am listening to..It was really bittersweet. I feel like tearing up, when I listened to the lyrics of the song. It hits so much.

March 22, 2023

I am adapting better than expected with the new changes. But still there'll be some breakdown while adjusting. And so tonight, I finally have my breakdown🥹 It have been piling up slowly,..It is overwhelming but I didn't cry before, I only burst to tears tonight because I read a very comforting words from my friend's statusT.T

Hey, it's not a really a positive one tonight..

Honestly, I don't know whats wrong with myself. I get ovewhelmed when I havent even start anything yet..It stress me out a lot that I was unable to do anything just by thinking about it..Why am I like this? Why did I ruined the opportunity I get?? whyyyT.T I dont understand my ownself. I am trying to think, but my mind is not clear right now...I have to let it clear before I could think properly...And I am trying to calm myself, so I am writing here. My mind and heart is just full of worries that I am trying to desperately seek for some easiness, some calmness

@GoldenLight07