Just a little girl with trust issues and an important letter

Hi, I'm Lilyrose. This letter is something very emotional and meaningful to me. I tried to open up to my PE teacher, Miss Durkin. Though She didn't know how to respond and is now distancing herself from me. Can I please have your opinion on my letter? Should I give it to her or not?Dear Miss Durkin,
I don't exactly know how to say any of this. Sorry about all the notes but there really is no other way. Obviously, this isn't going anywhere. I really would like you to understand what is wrong, and why I did everything that I did. There is a reasonable explanation for all of it.
Something happened to me a year ago. Something that has severed my ability to trust. I was never physically injured, so you have nothing to worry about. This incident
has unfortunately effected me both mentally and emotionally. Every time I try to talk about it, I just burst out crying. I do not want to go into detail, as you don't seem particularly interested in this, but even after a year, I am still suffering. Counseling and therapy isn't going to help. You can disagree with this, but I know myself better than anyone. I am not looking for professional help, I am looking for empathy.

I do act peculiarly sometimes and I am aware of this completely. I am sure you have noticed that I do not participate in "The Game" that you do at the end of health class. I don't participate because I do not feel like it. To you, it is just a game, but to me, it is much more than that. This game triggers memories from my past. I do not believe that you would understand, so I am not going to try and explain it. Also, I would like to explain the way I act around the other kids. It took me nearly 7 months to teach myself how to do all that. I am able to raise/change my voice at the drop of a hat. Emotionally I am filled with grief. Physically, I smile. It is amazing how easy it is to fool people with a fake smile. I am able to fake just about anything. Laughing, crying, sneezing, coughing you name it I can fake it. Without my ability to hide my emotions, I would be lost. I am assuming that you have noticed, but if not, I would like you to know that I am very shy. I'm not gifted when it comes to forming relationships, as my inability to trust interferes. I am hoping to change that someday. But until that day comes, I must bear with it.
I would also like you to know how you are involved in all of this. After the incident occurred, there was only one person that attempted to comfort me. This person was like a mother figure. She would braid my hair and then parade me around the building to show off her work. She cried when one of my rabbits passed. Once, she went to the craft store and bought bunny stickers, hot glue, and hair clips. During recess we made little hair clips, just because she was tired of seeing my hair in my face. I would draw her pictures and she would go around showing them to everyone. She even teared up once. She pasted that picture right on top of her desk and left it there for the whole year.
After the incident happened, I was crying hysterically. She hugged me and told me everything was going to be okay. I managed to smile, a real smile, not a fake one. She reminded me of all the happy memories and assured me that it would all get better.
You remind me of this person, which is the sole reason I chose you. You have called me a certain nickname before, the one that she always called me. You are the only teacher from the junior high that has called me this name. Once you have said to me "Lily, I can see you through all that hair. " She has said that exact same line to me before, except using another name. You dance and sing a lot, just as she used to do. There are many other things you have done to remind me of her as well.
When you came up me that first time, it wasn't all a big coincidence. I had intentionally made myself appear to be bothered so that you would approach me. I understand that it would be much easier if I had approached you myself, but please understand that I am very timid and talking is a challenge. The sexual harassment was not the reason I wanted to talk to you. I couldn't be sure that you were right without seeing your reaction to a personal situation. The sexual harassment was definitely not pleasurable for me, but it wasn't even half as bad as the pain I experienced last year. I brought this up just to see how you would handle it. You knelt down next to me. You called me that name that she always used to call me. You made eye contact with me and talked very softly. I spent 6 months. Waiting. Watching. Testing. You were basically the definition of perfect.
Unfortunately, I don't believe that you understand me, or what I was looking for those three times I waited outside the PE office. I wasn't out there with the intention of bothering you or creating a scene. I was trying to reach out to you. I know that you are a PE teacher and not a therapist. But obviously, you don't want to be involved. I am very sorry that I got you in all of this. I didn't mean to annoy you. Opening up to you seemed like a good idea to me, but now I can perceive that I was wrong to think that. You are a teacher. Not my therapist. Not my friend. Making sure that I am emotionally stable is not part of your job. I feel like a cornered animal. Every time I try to reach out to you it comes back and bites me in the hiny. I don't know what else I can do to help you understand me.