I guess this is how it is

I'm lying in my bed with tears drying on my cheeks, on this website before I go to sleep. This is my habit now. I've never been able to get more than a two day streak but that's okay. What's really weirding me out is the crying. At school I always feel at least kinda okay - sometimes I feel close to tears because of a n awkward social th ing or loud and overwhelming things but a lot of the time that's temporary and goes away after a minute or so. After school i watch YouTube , talk to my friends and do homework - I'm pretty happy during these points too, though recently I've started getting pretty bad headaches during this time.

I just don't understand how I only ever cry while in bed and not any where else or at any other points. The worries are still there during the day and I listen to audio books or similar to stop myself from having to think that much at night.

Any advice or help or just something would be massively appreciated. I just want to know why I'm like this, it makes me feel like I'm pretending to my friends.