Growing
(These are thoughts and feelings I've been holding in for a long time. I'm truly sorry if someone reads this and gets triggered or something. I don't mean to harm anyone. I just have to let these feelings go. I haven't felt normal in a few days, so I think typing all of this out and posting it may help. Writing is one of my passions. It has always helped me deal with my pain :)
I don't know why you ghosted me. I know thing were rough and not easy, yet just ghosting me has left me feeling so betrayed and uneasy. I sit here and laugh about it honestly. I now struggle to deal with people because of what you did to me. That is so messed up. Like if you did that to me so unexpected what is stopping someone else from doing the same? I never wanted to be or feel anti social, yet here we are. Everyone always tells me to talk to them and they will always respond. But they don't which I understand, yet it just hurts so much to build up trust with someone just to end up being forgotten. And then it's worse when people get offended and start hurling insults back at you like you reaching out to them is a problem. These people know exactly what the problem is, yet they don't want to deal with it so they make up excuses as to why their life is more important and all that ***. I don't want to hide from my problems. I want to face them and overcome them not make up excuses and act like everything is fine when it's not. Honestly I feel like Winston Smith in 1984. it's like I'm living in this world where a majority of people are just following orders when I see problems and want to face them. I'm never going to a guinea pig, following the crowd. That life ain't for me. I know this makes life harder, yet so much more rewarding. i love to research and ask difficult questions cause those questions need to be answered. It's ok if people get upset. Our emotions deserve to be heard.
The silver lining is this has helped me to grow as a person and to understand myself better not because of what you did to me, yet because I learned I don't need you anymore. I'm wounded, but I'm healing so much. Some days and moments are a struggle, yet I got my eye on the prize. I'm thankful to be alive and be a part of God's creation. Life is a gift. It's sad people don't understand that. I'm going to keep smiling and enjoying life, especially with the people who truly care. There are people out there( yes, I'm shouting you out Tiny Whisper :) who actually care about you and that is awesome!
I want to help others deal with their problems. No one should have to face life and all their challenges alone. We need to do a much better job at listening and understanding each other. We're only alone if we allow our minds to play tricks on us. I don't believe in magic, yet I do believe we have power inside of us to take on life and thrive. I'm blessed to be a part of 7 Cups and hear so many others stories. All of us are doing a really excellent job slaying our dragons and becoming the best versions of ourselves. Those negative folks can't touch us no more! Take pride in that and don't allow others weak opinions to slow us down. They too have their own issues and deserve help only if they desire it. God is here. He is with you and wants only what is best for your life. Trust and keep trucking forward! Peace out!
@WellsFiction well said ❤❤ so the person who ghosted you, do you need me to come sort them out *grabs baseball bat* 😈 your one of my treasured friends on here, and I know health wise you've never had it easy😞 and I wish there was something I could do to help you there. But I know how much you love my hugs ❤ so I'm gonna give you 300 giant tiny hugs ❤❤❤ how has your health been since we talked last?? And thanks for mentioning me ❤ your the sweetest ❤ and your definitely right, I love your mindset, life is a beautiful thing. And God is with us always ❤ so many of us will go through life, missing life. But not us, we gonna make this world a better place ❤ and yep! Never follow the masses cause sometimes there's a silent 'm' 😁 I love you ❤
@Tinywhisper11 Thank you so much, Tiny! No baseball bat needed, but thanks for the offer. I don't want you to get into trouble. The internet gives me a ton of stress hence the ghosting part. Yet when we make connections to others it's so amazing and truly uplifting. My health is definitely not 100 percent right now both mentally and physically, yet I'm doing my best which is all we can do. God bless you hon. Keep the hugs coming 💛💛
@WellsFiction I'm sorry your health isn't great😥 I'm here if you need to talk or vent ❤ puts baseball bat away😁 I don't use social media, I only use this site. Cause we are safe here ❤ but I bet it is nice to make friends, just not easy to understand some people. But don't worry cause I'm your friend, and I'm always here for you ❤
@Tinywhisper11 Yeah. I think that is the problem with social media. We use it to gain followers. I don't want followers. What I want are legit friends. You're a very good friend, Lola. You listen and want to help always. I'm always here for you too. I feel much better today :)
@WellsFiction gives you a giant tiny hug ❤❤ I'm glad your feeling better ❤❤ I love you ❤
@Tinywhisper11 I love you too! btw are you living in the UK temporarily or do you plan on staying there? I don't think I've ever asked you before.
@WellsFiction trigger warning- slave, and disabilities.... when I was rescued. By law enforcement at 18 years old. It was just a rescue mission, that other countries had stepped in after a recording of stuff happening to slaves was found all over the internet. So when I was strong enough and had some operations and stuff. All the slaves they rescued, needed to be split in different locations for safety. The other countries that stepped in where willing to take and look after us. So I was brought here to the UK, I'm under government protection and after what happened last year with some of the other slaves being found and had their lives ended😥 extra security was out in place. I'm very lucky to be here, I'm safe here (I hope) my spine is still broken, my legs have been amputated, half paralysed, and missing most of my fingers😥 so I won't be leaving, I'm pretty sure I'll be here for ever. But I am very happy here, very grateful ❤
how is your health? Are you feeling ok??
@Tinywhisper11 Wow! I can't imagine what you've been through. Can I ask you what state you'e from? It's ok if you can't or don't want too I get it. I'm feeling alright. I've actually been, researching heart issues like what could be causing it. I think it's stress and anxiety mostly. I have a telavisit with my metobolic doc coming up on the 15th, so I'll go over more of it with him. The pain I was feeling on my left side is almost all gone. Our pool is warming up. I'm itching to go in again :)
@WellsFiction I'm not supposed to give out locations 😕 sorry. You have a pool???😮😮 I'm coming to visit you for a few months😁 I hope it just goes away completely, and it was just something small, that won't happen again. Sends you big hug s ❤ I love you ❤
@LittleSodo Thank you so much for the kind and inspiring words. Appreciate it :)
