Feeling lonely
I dont feel that Im important to anyone or that I can be a priority. I dont feel that anyone would spend two seconds thinking of me. Ive never been able to forget anyone (literally anyone). I carry everyones story with me and I try to learn from it. I remember every detail about every person starting from how their hands move when they talk to what their perfect life would be like.But I dont think that anyone carries my story with them (or even just know it). I dont think anyone ever remembered any detail about me, something I love or something I hate. Ive always felt that theres something wrong with me, something pushing everyone away from me, something making me invisible. Im also not sure what it means when sometimes all I need is a hug and I cannot find it. Its hard to be someone who believes in the power of love, someone who strive for a real and authentic connection when it seems that youre often seen as just a dreamer. actually I never understood whats wrong with dreaming (even if its sometimes a little too much). And its even harder to try to change who you are and hide behind some masks in order to fit in. But Im glad about all that. Im glad because Im always trying to avoid making people feel the way I felt, avoid making them feel useless or that theyre not worthy of love and care.
@caringFreedom1302
Thank you for sharing this. As someone whos been lonely throughout his life, this really moved my Heart. Sometimes days and weeks pass by and you never get a single person in your life to call and check on you, and you got other people who just simply remove you from their lives and forget about you because you arent that important to them anymore, and youre just left with that overwhelming feeling of pain, emptiness, confusion and self-doubt about yourself and your own abilities, and you start thinking if it didnt work out with them, then how it will work out with anybody else?. Its so painful that theres nothing you can do about it but to stare at yourself in the mirror with tears streaming down your face while youre begging yourself to just hold on and be strong. And even if someone talks to you and asks whats up, you just cant let it out and prefer to stay quiet and keep everything bottled inside just because you are not that good with words and you are afraid people would make you feel worse by misunderstanding and judging you, which I always find it strange, that we know ourselves better than anyone yet we crumble at the words of others who havent even lived a second of our lives.
" The saddest people have the most beautiful smile. The lonely people are the kindest ones. The most suffering people are the wisest. All because they don't want to see anyone suffer the way they suffered "