Dep's Diary
***Warning this could be a bit triggering for some people (For future posts). Please ONLY read this at your own risk, as this is my personal space and for me and my thoughts and my headspace. Please only post supportive replies but theyre not expected, others replies ARE NOT welcomed***
So I know its July and Im already freaking out about school this year. My school is reopening whether other schools remain closed or not for the 2020-2021 Academic school year.
So, my last semester (when school was in session online) My geometry classes were on Google Zoom as usual right? You think your teacher will end up being more lenient on you? Heck no! Not my geometry teacher, she ALWAYS gave out TONS of homework and my class would say Thats too much homework to give to us What was my teachers response? Well, you all are stuck in quarantine so youd be able to finish everything as well. I just got annoyed too much with it. Then later during my Zoom meetings, my teacher would cold call on me (Im aware its supposed to be helpful) but mine does it in a scary way. Well, Id always get called out and I get picked on which is no fun at all. I just felt hated more or less. Just reminds me how bad I am for a human.
Well, this coming year I have the same teacher for Chemistry and I know it will be a repeated loophole if you will, which makes me very sad. I dont want to go through this all the future years Im in high school. My teacher always finds the smallest craziest reason to email my parents (which sucks but, my parents got very frustrated with my teacher) I just dont want it to be repeated for the years to come. Why am I too dumb
Me having social anxiety sucks, but my teacher ends up making it worse for me, and embarrassing me in front of my class. Im not sure if it's to help me learn or make me look bad. I want to be respected and treated just like any other person, at least thats how I feel. Being put on the spot really sucks for me and honestly gives me an anxiety attack which isnt too cool. Im pretty much standing there acting like Im confident But in reality, I lack confidence and am scared of certain teachers who dont care about/for you, as it hurts
Sincerely,
Dep
@depressedsatellite1452
I'm sorry that your teachers are so rude. You can get through this though dep
DIARY ENTRY NUMBER: 2
***Warning this could be a bit triggering for some people (For future posts). Please ONLY read this at your own risk, as this is my personal space and for me and my thoughts and my headspace. Please only post supportive replies but theyre not expected, others replies ARE NOT welcomed***
Whats on my mind this time? Thats a great question, honestly this time its about my friendships. Ive come to know that too many of my friends are online rather than in real life. Why did I decide to go this route? I decided to do so because Ive come to realize that Ive been hurt both emotionally, mentally, and physically (including verbally) by too many people in real life. Its been causing me a lot of emotional distress along with mental breakdowns. My online friends dont cause me too much stress which is a good thing. I just end up feeling too lonely, in a way I guess with real-life friends. I have always had Social Anxiety and I just feel so alone around people I guess. I hate crowds and being put on the spot, but is it odd that I still get stressed out when I have to type an answer when someone asks me too at that exact time? I just get too stressed out (even though I know thats bad for you). I wish I can have normal in real life friends just like everyone else, but sadly I cant. Ive been horrible at making friends and I just think its just a waste of time for me. Everyone thinks Im fine without friends, little do they know I need some people in my life. I want in real life support, but Im too dumb to ask.
What will we discover next? Who knows only time will tell.
🥺👀 <3 Dep
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