April 26th, 2021

Where do I even start? Today was good. But I can't shake what you have done off my mind. Was it true? Did you talk to her? The pretty girl with brown hair, sparkly brown eyes, and has more in common with you than me? I don't understand. You told my dad you loved me and you would do anything for me. But instead, you're telling her you love her and how pretty she is. That is what you always said to me... I don't get it, I have done so much for you, Am I not enough? I still love you, I still love your fluffy brown hair that falls gently on your face, the way your eyes meet with mine and I see in your soul that you are kind, I still love the way you kiss me, the way your hands hold mine, and your arms bring me comfort. I still love the way you call me baby and mamas. I still love the parts of you that are broken, the parts of you that no one has seen. I still love you... And I always will, but I am confused and hurt. My mind won't stop creating scenarios of you and her, my eyes are dark and swollen, while my heart feels shattered. Even when I confronted you, you denied it. You denied it all and got defensive. My sisters built a relationship with you, they love when you play games with them, my parents love you and so does my grandma. Your parents what us married... I don't know what to think anymore and I am stuck in a position where I want to trust you but I also have cold hard evidence. You will always have a place in my heart, I hope this isn't true and it's just a bad nightmare. You are my universe, the one person I always love seeing and talking to. Please don't hurt me... Pinky Promise? Perhaps a pinky promise should never be trusted. I take them too seriously.