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Growth From the Outside In

“You think your pain and your heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read. It was books that taught me that the things that tormented me most were the very things that connected me with all the people who were alive, who had ever been alive.”- James Baldwin

I want to reach into this quote.

In my last post, "Growth from the Inside Out" I went over a key part of growth learned in the dimension of "Being- Relationship to Self". But, we are never going to survive in the world as good people, no matter how much we grow, if we do not have one thing. So, how can the world affect us for the better? How can it grow us from the Outside In? I have one word for you: Empathy. 

Empathy is defined as this: "the ability to understand and share the feelings of another."

Because the truth is this: we do not have to look into books to find people who have been through things like us, or worse than us, or better than us. Yet the thing is still this: that everyone is going through something different in life, and if we want to be good people we must meet people where they are at. We need to be able to know that you never know what someone has gone through, and in this treat everyone with the same amount of love and respect. To go to anyone at all and say: I see you, your experiences are validates, and I will never judge you for what you have gone through or what you feel because of it. 

Two Questions/Activities to reflect on gaining empathy, and in turn care for others in this world. 

1. Imagine you meet someone, and without knowing it fully, they have the exact same backstory as you: a past of pain, or healing, or conflicting emotional battles. Imagine they are at their, and in turn your, absolute worst.

Have them pictured? Now answer this question: Is it safe to say you have met this person? 

2. Now, mold this backstory, just a smidge or by a hundred miles. We are all walking in different shoes, you are always meeting yourself or a complete stranger who is at their best, or worst, or in the fragile stages of healing. Now, answer this question: No matter what someone is going through, how can I remind myself to extend the upmost empathy to them by putting myself in their shoes? 

I hope you found this exercise helpful, and If you completed both, thank you! We are all just people who can use growth to make the world a better place, both by helping ourselves and others. :)



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positivelyLuna333 OP June 21st

@positivelyLuna333

1. Yes, of course I have. In this, I can remember that the people who helped me the most at my worst were those who climbed to the bottom of the hole I was in and said, “It’s dark down here, and bad. And I validate that it’s bad. And in this, you are deserving of healing.
2. I always remind myself, before or after someone has spoken to me, I never know what someone else is going through. Or how exactly it feels. Just that I can meet them with absolutely no judgement, only validation that wherever they are is where they are.

Hope June 24th

Another great post! One thing I tend to remind myself is that if I was raised in the same household, same opportunities, same exposure, same friends, same environment as them, there is a very high chance I too would be like that person. 

This is especially helpful in dealing with relatively challenging/difficult people. Or when dealing with someone who greatly differs in their point of view from you and you struggle to make sense of it. 


ScorpiaD June 28th

@positivelyLuna333 With growth comes difficulty. For example: I am on the opposite sides of the aisle when it come to my family and politics. I find it difficult to grow to accept who my family is. Now will there be a time where I can accept the differences? Maybe, but again, it takes time to grow. 

Meenakshi29 July 11th

@positivelyLuna333

1..Yes I can say it safe....... 

If I met a people like me i can say it's safe... 

2.. This is how I stay empathetic towards others.....

Respecting their emotions and allowing them to expresss it without judgments and remind myself that they come from different background so giving personal opinion is wrong...... 

Maslow July 16th

@positivelyLuna333I think it is