What's your most recent achievement?
I haven't achieved anything at all in who knows how long. My life is on hiatus. Every day I wake up in the same ditch knowing life is in need full-dress repair. And I'm on empty. Starved. Stuck. Can't muster the energy. My compass is broken. Mentally out of commission. Every day is vapid lethargic monotony the hours of which are ruefully squandered in scattered, unfocused striving to jumpstart my engine and self-actualize or take steps toward digging myself out of this barren black hole where I have been festering since june. i am an unemployed loser who quit the teaching profession and feel like garbage every day. nothing is going well. i can't even work on my creative project because my system is totally stymied by the internal decay, jammed up, comatose. I hate this miserable meaningless. The torpor is unmitigated, sucking out my soul I am permeated by poison. Emptiness and atrophy. The anemic heartache that makes no music. I have made zero progress. this year has been worthless. failed as a teacher. nearly destroyed myself. hit rock bottom. lonelier than ever. havent been affectionately touched in so so so sooooooooo long and i will never find love. im-- fuck. i dont even want to say anymore. i hate this
@dpecheur10 you are eloquent describing your depression. I feel like you just described how I felt about two years ago. And although it definitely felt like a permanent condition, it lifted over time. Here are a few simple things tha helped me, maybe they will give you some ideas. 1. When i have a tiny bit of energy, I make a few things easier on myself. For example, pour a big container of water that you can sip on for the next couple of hours. Prepare a simple snack that you can put in the fridge to "find" later when you aren't feeling up to preparing food. Put out a set of clothes that you like. As you do one of these things, think of your (near future) self as a sweet child who you want to take care of. Project love and non judgement for this "child " who is you (or will be very shortly) 2. get outside and do nothing but enjoy the sunshine, air, look at some plants. If it's not frezing out, maybe you might like to feel your bare feet against the ground. 3. be kind to yourself as you would be to a small child or any other human being who you see suffering. Have compassion of yourself. I hope some of these ideas help, or else I hope they can inspire a few ideas of your own. Wishing you the best.
@pluckyWest7236 Thank you very much for your kind and thoughtful words. I appreciate you taking the time to do that and I will see about trying what you suggest. i am feeling incredibly inert right now. nothing seems to help. the worst part is not being able to work on my fiction writing projects as my creative juices are dried up right now colors sapped out of my world i feel braindead and paralyzed.
I managed to run 2 big extension cords outside today and get a lot of my Halloween decorations up for the first time in about 3 years
@DragonFaerie - Awesome! Must be fun to see your decorations up on display :)
I feel silly calling this an achievement, but today I managed to get dressed, cook, and brush my hair. My depression and anxiety on some days makes it extremely overwhelming to do even just one of these things. So when I get more than one done I consider it a very good day!
@Jessie1987 It's not silly at all. Celebrate the little steps, they're usually the most important part. :)
@theevercynic so true. A day goes by so much better when we've taken and acknowledged even the smallest of steps.
@Jessie1987 definitely not silly! I had to make taking care of myself a habit, because I was in a place not too long ago when basic self care felt like I was attempting to climb Mt. Everest. After a couple of months, I finally reached a point where it's become a daily habit. It may be hard, but I know you can do it! Find a way to reward yourself when you do. It really helps!
I bought $60 of groceries that I think I can stretch for the next 2-3 weeks.
@SanityRing - Impressive! Do you have favorite cheap food staples or recipes? I'm always looking for more ways to cut my grocery budget. I'm a big fan of eggs and oatmeal, especially
After dropping out of high school 4 years ago, this month I completed my GED with over 95% scores in all my subjects :)
@theevercynic congrats!
@theevercynic heeeey!! Congratz!!
My most recent achievement is that I finished writing my book about my life story and all that Ive been able to overcome by the grace and mercy of God. I have a testimony of overcoming childhood sexual abuse, being raped 3 different times, health scares, drug and alcohol abuse, physical abuse, and so much more! BUT GOD! I am telling my story to help other people heal and continue their journey to freedom. I have had some issues with the editor and graphic designer for the book cover but I wont let that stop me from reaching who God has called me to reach with this book and my testimony. Its going to get published one way or another!
@Jalisaray Thank you Jalisary for sharing this. It always shines some light into my own world when I hear testimonies like this, expressing a sincere faith that only by God's help was this possible. Faith is a constant struggle of mine and I think on it every day. It's encouraging when I hear other people talk about healing experiences that are miraculous and gained through having faith in God's faithfulness.
@dpecheur10 Amen! Glory to God! I am so glad my post was able to encourage you! Continue to press forward, claim your healing, and remember that it is a journey not a destination.
I got out of bed and went to school today. I was late, but this was the first time I spoke to my friends this week. We got pizza
@GoldfishBread3775 - I'm really proud of you for getting yourself there! It's not easy to do, but being able to get there and reconnect with friends can be a huge step in continuing to move forward <3
Facing my problems, focusing on God, be thankful,learning to not be judgmental bc lots of people can't help what they do sometimes
@Vanessagail - That's a lot of big stuff and I'm really proud of you! What do you think was most helpful in getting there?
I got to 100% on one of my habits! 😊
@Anonynectarine - Woohoo!!! Congratulations!
I left an easy summer job where I was missing work & underperforming due to my anxiety & applied to a small river cruise, where I worked demanding 50-hour weeks for two months. I was hired mid-season, met the challenge & did very well on my final work evaluation, despite no prior experience. I also saw lovely scenery & met great people, my anxiety lessened & my self-esteem improved.
@littleWater7718 - That's fantastic! I think sometimes we can surprise ourselves with how much we can accomplish when we're in an environment that is a good fit for us, and it sounds like getting into a better fit for you made you able to really push yourself forward and achieve so much!