Dalt0kki - My Hobby Journal!

Dear Soulmate,

It is all true

I've searched

And never gave up on

You

Like a shining star

I'd daydream

Wondering where you

Are

At night I'd sigh

At day I'd cry

Thinking...oh

My

I kept asking life for a sign

I scattered everywhere

In search of my

Sunshine,

No matter what I'd do

I never gave up looking

Or surviving for

You

I wanted to be seen

I prayed

That you wouldn't be

Mean

I'd always be bold

Sometimes

Blaming

The World

And I knew it meant to be

For love

Is everything

To Me.

I'd sit on this hill

Daydreaming

The words:

I Will

I'd walk through hallways

See other people

And their "forever and"

Always

I'd feel like a black dove

As an outsider

Undeserving of

Love

I'd never follow through

Or fully grasp

The idea of never meeting

You

Trigger Warning - Poem contains dark metaphors and imagery

Defective

Unsurprisingly again

I’ve gotten myself into a situation

Full of naivety, temptation

It’s causing me degradation

And I can only blame myself

For this miserable installation

There’s nothing that can be done

To get me out of infatuation

I’ve been through the set up

Through endless confrontation

But sometimes I doubt

The existence of an invitation

I fear for my life, my future

Of the bottomless pit of despair

For this path itself

May very well lead to nowhere

I’m constantly haunted

By the never ending sorrow

Sometimes I hope

To never see another tommorow

And my heart screams in agony

Yet my eyes are blood dry

My internals tear themselves open

But I simply won’t cry

Behind this flesh carcass

Is a dead boy

Behind this blank gaze

Is a broken, used toy

Trigger Warning - Poem contains dark metaphors and imagery

Memento Mori

There used to be a boy

And he was lost at sea

Not a scent of single joy

Making him wonder what he'll be

He wished for someone like him

He longed for closure, acceptance

Before his heart went dim

Then he met somebody, Mori

Someone who didn't ignore him

Nor ever found him boring

His wounds healed

He felt his heart bliss

His terrible pain sealed

Love's welcoming kiss

A feeling he missed

And would miss again

For she was deceiving him

Playing with his fragile heart

Thinking she was smart

Oh how she was wrong

He saw the warnings right through her

He dreamt of her deceitful song

His heart felt her's belonged to another

Yet he believed that his had a chance

Using ignorance as cover

He was blind and chose to dance

He gave her everything - his lover

But in a single day and hour

She gave it all away to her "brother"

Thus, the boy's heart she chose to devour

He wasn't upset, however

He wasn't angry nor did he cry

His heart stopped beating

It did not try

What is dead cannot be killed

So in tears' place

Was a cold despair filled

Empty embrace

I gave my soul to every girl I met

I poured and poured and poured

Until there was nothing left

Now in my empty shell lay pieces

Memories of my troubled past

On my body are scars

Stories that are cast

My heart broken, again

I'm in constant pain

If only it could wait

Since I lost track of time

As I helplessly watch them fade

My serotonin and dopamine

My happiness decayed

Even if I'm surrounded by people

Or my mind is made of stone

I will forever be alone

Tortured and abandoned

Until that part of me is gone

Feel myself becoming colder

My abdominals crashed by a boulder

"If there is a god, please help me"

Trigger Warning - Dark Imagery and Metaphors

Thinking of you

Afraid of the deafening silence

And knowing what is true

Lost myself in pointless violence

While searching for someone new

Spent so many days alone

Feel like sinking into my bed

Tend to leave a conversation

With nothing being said

Once abandoned and deserted

I'm still looking for my place

A little introverted

Everyday I need some space

There's nothing you can say

To make me feel better

Make my stormy weather go away

Finding myself getting upsetter

I'm still looking for my bae

Somebody to hug and kiss

Make my pain cease to exist

My happiness to bliss

Wake up to a sunshine in my bed

Somebody who won't hurt me

Who doesn't want to be dead

And will never ever, desert me

All these fake girls

Really messing with my head

I'm still looking for you instead

Tired of the silent chaos

And knowing what's not true

Lost myself in endless defiance

With no one to pursue

I don't how much more pain

I can really endure

I just wanna lay in bed

Think of you, instead

No matter how many times it's said

Some lyrics I wrote one of my beats, possible Trigger Warning?

Falling

(Intro)

All… these… faces

Empty… places

Judging… every

Part… of… me….e

Why….ammm…I

So… lonee….ly

There’s something…

Wrong with….me

All these… gazes

Cold…. embraces

(Transition into beat)

Hear my heartbeat

It’s increasing

Stop looking at me

It’s making me uneasy

Used to wonder everyday

Whether they like me

A twisted truth

Is all I see

A ruined youth

Is all I be

Plagued by the what if

It’s so damm limiting

I’m stuck here wondering if

They even listening

Heartbreak and sorrow

Really need some distancing

Social anxiety

Is just so crippling

Can’t talk to girls

I just crumble

Can’t start a conversation

That I won’t fumble

Can’t even walk straight

I just stumble

Hear my heartbeat

It’s increasing

what if

They think I’m creepy

Is it just me

is my smile freaky

Not afraid of darkness

But what’s deep inside

Stuck in my mind

It’s where the nightmares hide

Been an eternity

Yet I can’t cry

Feel so numb

In many places

Can’t avoid

Those judgy gazes

And I guess it’s all

Because of anxiety

I got

Mad variety

Seems like

It’s chewing me up inside

Can’t fight it

Hear my heartbeat

It’s increasing

I’m scared

that I might die

Don’t run from it

You can try

Together we’ll be

Fine

An old love poem made to look like a chess piece no TWs for this one, it's wholesome : )

Checkmate

My girlfriend is my sunshine

My girlfriend is my life

And no I'm not bluffing

She really is my wife

I will never leave my girlfriend

See her heart broken

Never abandon or desert her

Leave her thoughts unspoken

Lea, my sweetie

I love you dearly

I'll always be there

Your enemies will fear me

You are my perfect soulmate

Your heart is it's own melody

Know that I wasn't lying

Your love's my only remedy

I love you forever, I need you always

Your love's a drug, I can't get enough of

You are the bug, I won't get rid of