@MusicCandy @SadMe70 A place to communicate

Thinking about you and hoping you are getting time to do some exercise to help with the stress!

Hello friend. I am thinking of you and hoping you are doing as well as possible under the circumstances. Do not worry if you are unable to get on here and write anything for a while. I know you will be back when you are able. I'll keep sending you little notes so you have something to look at when you get back!

I'll keep my update brief since it's the same old anyhow. I ate pretty well this week but drank something every day and had a few too many treats. It was another bad week for exercise due to 2 cancellations that kept me from yoga and my trainer. Very frustrating for me but nothing I can control. I am about to do a little yoga to get my stiff body moving, and then a little cardio here at home. I did walk at Lake Anna State Park on Monday. Only about 2 miles because it was super cold, but very beautiful.

I'm back, at work tonight. That is when I'm usually available to check in, and it was so nice to see your notes. It means a lot. I tirned in my Mom's key today, so its over from the Masonic Home anyway. Fiance and I packed up her stuff and its mostly in my living room. Her passing was quiet and I held her hand with her last breath. Hospice was a huge help espeially overnight.The worst part was my sisters. The 3 to 4 days they were there was one argument after another over the silliest things. My sister that has the hearing loss and other health problems snapped at the rest of us depite every way we tried to accomodate her. She didn't want that either - it was terrible. Then my 3rd sister tried to reason with her and it was back and forth. My baby sister didn't get there until after she passed , but she was stuck in VT with the snow until then- not her fault. The funniets thing was the last day when I knew she woulf probably go - the 2 sisters went to her apartment room to go thru stuff and one said" you come too and Mom can .. rest. I didn't want to hurt her feelings ( she is going to have a long time to rest) so I said I'd stay. And that was when I saw her breathing slow and I took her hand and her quiet music was playing. I got the nurse and told her my sisters were down the hall, and they were not prepared for this. So they come bak, all shocked and hysterical. i just stood next to her and gave her a few kisses on her forehead and stroked her hair until my daughter got there. She is having a very hard time, her boyfriends mother funeral was the day before so that was a lot on her. Plus she spent the most time with her being the only in town granddaughter. She had brought her laptop in and sat with her and "worked" for several days before. The best times were when the staff and residents came in and out and talked to her and told her how special she was to them. It was touching since as you know my relationship with her was conflicted. Sisters all gone home and now I have the stuff to sort out, but no rush at least. It was a very long 2 weeks. Now I have to get used to a new normal. You have been through it so you know.

I had already started the low carb plan and I didn't eat much or regularly ,just coming and going from her room and being upset - so I lost a few more pounds. , maybe 7 total. I am going to try hard to stay on the low carb, high fiber plan so it won't come back. I missed my check up and lab work so now I have another appt in Feb. I hope you can get some yoga soon. I know that helps you feel better, and we all deserve that. I am looking forward to Spring and getting outside more. I don't think I've been to Lake Anna state park, only visited a friend there once in that complex. Any hiking you can do - I say take the oppertunity. Thank you for your love and support. Good friends are rare.

I am sad to hear your news, but I am glad you were with your mom and that is was peaceful. I'm glad you could be there for her since your sisters were not ready to deal with it. It's good she had you through all of this and up to the end. You are a strong, sensible, caring person and that is what she needed. I am sorry to hear that your sisters made things harder. I was lucky that my sisters and I get along well, but my husband had an experience similar to yours as his mom was dying. I feel like if the person creates drama themselves, then it's going to ripple down and make it hard for everyone else to get along too. You've done a wonderful job being the steady person. I'm sorry also to hear that your daughter has experienced so much loss at once, and so soon after her own troubles. I will pray for you all that you find some comfort. How is Rachael doing?

I hope that you can get back to regular meals now and stick to your low carb plan. I don't seem to have much of a plan myself right now, but at least I've put the brakes on gaining more weight. I got to yoga this week, and I'm hoping to try another new state park over President's Day weekend because I have the Monday off. I am thinking maybe York River State Park. My boys are both planning to spend that weekend with my mom and I want so much to go, but I have these goats to milk. I'm already planning a weekend up there in March (2nd anniversary of dad's death) when I'll have to get friends to cover the animal care, so I don't feel I can ask again so close together. I will see her tomorrow possibly. I am planning to go to Baltimore for a retirement tea at noon for the midwife who delivered my boys and did my gyn care for almost 25 years. I'm meeting my mom and maybe my sisters for lunch afterwards. It's a long day with 5 or so hours of driving, but I'm looking forward to seeing everyone. I tried to get my boys to go so I could get a picture of them with the midwife, but they declined (imagine that).

I'm thinking about you and hoping you will find something to make you smile today.

As you wished, I did smile - you gave me something to smile about. You say such nice things about me! I keep trying to analyze why there was so much disagreement after my mom passed with my sisters. I do know that the one next to me who has the hearing loss ect. has Always been a know-it-all that you can't even make a suggestion to.. and the health issues have just made it worse. We lived together for a couple of years in our twenties, out of necessity, but it was like that then too. Now it seems like she enjoys the victim status and no matter what you say as how to improve communication - it won't work. I feel so bad for what I know is dreadful for her every day, but I don't know how to make it any better. My third sister tried to reason with her, and broke out crying; she is the sensitive one. I know on my account I have a hard time not giving her a less- than- sweet retort, and it was like that with my Mom too. I need to work on a couple of nice phrases to say even if I don't mean it- just to keep peace. I have heard it's better to be nice than right, I need to work on that with her. She said things that truly hurt me , but I can't expect her to apologize, so nothing to do but move on. And hey, the Governor had a worse day than me!

I'm proud of you not gaining any more weight - sometimes that is all we can manage. Good for you making it to Yoga, I did a restorative yoga class a couple of weeks go at my gym , it was definitely different stretching that way. I'm almost afraid of trying it again right now because it seems like that kind of class releases emotional tension too, and I don't want to just lose it in front of people. Maybe wait a little while after I've had some good long walks. Fiance and I hiked York River state park last summer. Chipokes is an interesting plantation nearby and they give a history tour that is also fun.

I lapsed on the no wine 3 days and back to every night, but I know I can go back. I just feel so tired from everything, I didn't even exercise yesterday - but I will today. I know you want to spend as much time with your Mom as possible. I heard so many nice things about my mother while she was in the Care center and friends and staff visited - it made me realize that she fulfilled her purpose even though it wasn't directed to me. A retirement tea sounds lovely. I had Rachael's prenatal care with a midwife and it was special. It just turned out that I had to have a C-section from the B-strep. I still was grateful for her high-touch approach. Their practice started testing because of Rachael and another bad outcome birth - after that they tested and pre-treated all b-strep moms. I crosstitched a sampler for her with the caption 'Midwives deliver.. love" I hope you have a beautiful afternoon, and the boys will just miss out. They would rather have pizza and beer I'm sure. Rachael is doing OK. It was a shock for her to see grandma's room packed up and she cried then, but she lives in the moment. As long as we don't drive over there she probably won't be upset. She lookes at family pictures a lot and will recognize her ma-ma-ma as she called her. She also loved talking to her on the phone, and she will miss that. Thank you for the support and prayers that I know I can count on from you, my friend. It definitely did give me a big smile.

Hello friend, How are you feeling today? I hope tensions have eased with your sisters and you are starting to find some peace. I am glad you got to hear good things about your mom from people at the Care center. I am sorry that more good parts of your mom were not directed toward you, but you seem to be dealing with it as best you can. You were good to her and did the right thing to the end. You are a good daughter and a good person.

My mom has fallen twice in the past week. Just over a week ago she tripped over her dog and cracked her knee on the floor. About 10 years ago she had fractured that patella so we were worried, but no break this time. It was swollen and internally bruised, so they gave her a brace and she's been using a crutch. If the pain does not subside she will need an MRI to check for tears. Yesterday she was going to the post office and tripped over the curb (prob because she's so unsteady on her feet from the knee) and tore up her hand a bit. As far as I know, no other damage from the second fall. I got that info last night from my sister. Will call mom today.

I am still in my limbo of getting in some to most of my exercise, eating pretty well, eating too many treats, not losing any weight. I know that I need to exercise more often, since I can't exercise "harder" due to my physical limitations, but I don't find the time. I'd love to go to the gym more mornings if only my husband was able to help me with the goats. Sigh. This weekend is my son's birthday celebration, so I'll have a big meal today, plus cake and probably a lot of alcohol. I hope to get to the park to walk first..

How are your meal and wine plans going? Have you been able to get back to your regular exercise routines?

Helo, I am going to print off the nice things you say about me in giant print and hand them on my refrigerator! I am a good daughter,and I did right by her to the end. wow. That is so warming to hear. I know I didn't say the nicest things to my sister with the hearing loss- ; granted she is a pain in the A.. anyway- but still. I should be better with her. We sisters havent held any animosity about any remarks that came out when everyone was emotional- so it looks like we are moving on with good will. It was SO much worse- sister wise when my Dad passed, and we all remember that and how long it took to resolve.

It makes me sad to hear about your mom falling. That is what happens to so many people as we age, and it becomes part of needing more assistance in general. My Mom was falling often even before she went to the Home. It is doubly hard when your mother is far away - I know that from when my Mom lived 2 hrs away. I hope she recovers quickly and that it isn't too much stress and worry on you.

I am back to my routine for the most part. I noticed that since I cut out almost all processed carbs (not easy) and trying to cut back on sugar- that protein and vegetables taste better. I will tsay from the statistics and my own experiene that food shoices top exercise for weight loss by a long shot. Exercise is still very important, but it generally doesn't result in losing pounds. I didn't lose at all until I cut the carbs, despite a lot of exercise. In fact, it can make you hungrier! Buyt it definitrly helps you feel better in the long run. SO, right afterr the birthday celebration which is perfectly OK to indulge - you get back on track the best you can. I'm talking tough because I know you can do it. Give yourself some strong self talk, and make sure you always have a healthy alternative when there is temptation. That helps me get through the urge to eat a bisquit , which I love. Spring is coming - yea! Are you going to have any baby goats this year? They gotta be so cute.

Hello, I am glad to hear you and your sisters are moving on with good will. I know hard feelings can stay around a long time after a death, and I am glad that is not the case for your family. I just put in for a day off work in mid-March to spend the 2nd anniversary of my dad's death with my mom and sisters. The grief is definitely not as raw this year as last, but still very heavy.

Mom is very depressed being stuck in the house. She had planned to start back to her pool this week because her knee was improving, but she can't because of the deep cut on her hand, and the second fall also made her knee worse. So she is sitting around watching TV which drives her nuts. She should have gone to urgent care the day she fell to get stitches, but because she didn't, they can't do anything about it now. It may take a very long time to heal. It is by the webbing of her thumb and first finger so it tears open a lot from regular hand movement. My sons were supposed to go visit her this weekend but now there is a lot of snow up there so I don't know if they are going. That would have given her a boost, so I hope they are able to go.

I am glad you are back to your routine. It's encouraging to hear that the protein and veggies are tasting better with the lack of carbs. I am still eating too many bad things but I got good news yesterday. They are finally going to do a weight loss challenge at school! It really just consists of weekly weigh-ins by the nurse, with enouragement and tips, but I'm hoping that having those weigh-ins will motivate me. It's $5 to join and after 2 months the biggest loser (by bodyweight percent) gets the pot. A weekly winner will be announced but not the person's weight or percent so it's very private which is good. Yesterday the treats table by the staff mailbox had bananas and grapes along with cookies and donuts. That is sort of progress. I hope they will eliminate all the sweets for the 2 months starting this Wed.

I did all of my exercise this week. My shoulder is killing me which is so frustrating. The weather is not great but I am still thinking of going to York River St Pk tomorrow. Fingers crossed!

Hello there! The weight loss challenge is under way at work! We weighed in on Thursday. The nurse created a mailing list of the people who joined and will send us tips. She said there is $120 in the pot so far, which means 24 people joined. I am actually not interested in winning the money. I just want to get myself on track and get my pants fitting again. On Thursday the usual donuts were out, but on Friday the treats table had apples, bananas, and bagels and no junk. I have put a note to myself inside my bag of Hershey kisses at home to remind me that it's ok to eat some every day as long as I stick to the planned amount! I ate them every day while losing all that weight several years ago, but I was very disciplined about how many. Lately I have been gorging until I am stuffed.

Mom is healing up and was able to walk a quarter mile on the treadmill at her gym. She only stopped because her knee brace was slipping down her leg. She's going to try a mile next week without the brace. Her hand is starting to heal. Not enough to do yoga yet or get in the pool, but at least it's headed in the right direction. I felt a lot better after talking to her last time, as opposed to the time before when she was really feeling down.

I did get to York River last weekend and had a nice hike. I did a 2 mile loop recommended by the ranger as the only hilly part, which goes along a marsh and creek and then up into the forest. That was very nice. Then I walked about another mile on a flat path above the river and went down to the river at their "fossil beach" which was very cool. The river was at really low tide and there were lots of shells and shell bits, plus the eroded cliffs were completely full of shells as well. That was really neat to see. I now have 4 state parks under my belt for 2019, three of them new to me. I need to get back to Westmoreland, one of my regulars, so I can log that as well. I am logging my visits now in VA State Parks "Trails Quest" website. Just a fun way to keep track. Plus I got a pin for going to my first park under the program. Woo hoo!!

How are things going with you? It sounded like you were keeping pretty well on track with things despite everything else you were dealing with. Are you settling back into your routine? I hope you are feeling well, physically and spiritually.

Hello! I have had the disappearing paragraph happen on here before - very annoying!!

I lost one pound at the Wednesday weigh-in so I was happy with that. Unfortunately I fell sick by that evening and have done no exercise since. It is either a cold or allergies - headache, stuffy, drainage, and so very tired. I am havng to sleep propped up because of the drainage, and that makes my neck hurt more. So annoying to get on the right track and have yet another setback.

My younger son is on spring break and has been here since Friday. I am not sure if he is staying here all week or will go back to Richmond for part of the week. We had plans to go on a day hike in the mountains this coming Friday because I am off (teacher work day), so I need to get well! Last month we bought the game Big Boggle, because we love regular Boggle and this is a bigger board. We played it with him last time he was here and again last night, and he kicks our butts. I can't decide whether that is a good thing (we raised a smart kid) or a bad thing (he is an annoying smart ass)!

Nothing much really going on here since I've been too wiped out to do anything. I napped instead of hiking yesterday, and I'm not doing any cooking this weekend. I cooked the last 2 weekends and had good meals all week. I do have stuff in the freezer and plan to have fish one day which doesn't take long to cook, so I think my meals can continue to be good this week. I have been mostly eating salads for lunch every day. I splurge on the chopped salad kids. I like the chopped ones since they are easier to eat, plus there is a fun little treat pack in each one. It makes me more likely to eat salads. I throw sliced almonds in so there is protein. One bag makes 2 lunches for me.

I hope your week has gone well, and that you are doing well with your meals and alcohol plans, and your exercise. I like our cheering team of 2!