@MusicCandy @SadMe70 A place to communicate

I'm so sorry not to have posted after your last post. I had a crappy week too and didn't have the mental energy to think of what to say. I might as well throw my checklist out because I'm not doing it anyway. Last weekend I went to Baltimore for my aunt's 80th birthday and my sister made another cake. I had 3 glasses of wine and 3 pieces of cake plus brought cake home. My other sister gave me a drink shaker for my birthday so I ran right out and bought liquor to make "german chocolate martinis" and proceeded to drink them 3 nights this past week, which led me to eat a ton of candy. I had lost 2 pounds a few weeks back but this week I was up 5 pounds. I woke up lightheaded one day and I think I was crashing off a huge sugar high. Starting off the week with Father's Day started me off sad and I did not do a good job of making the day nice for my husband because I was wallowing in my own grief over my dad. Depression caught up and claimed me Thurs and Friday, but I went away Friday night for a planned hike on Saturday at Old Rag with my sons and some other people and that was a lot of fun. Got back last night and am very tired today but I love being outside and exerting myself. No room for depression on that mountain.

I am very sorry to hear you had a blah week. Seems that cake and alcohol got us both this week. I'm glad that being outside made you feel better. Going to work always helped me get distracted from also. I would be so busy all day I had little time to dwell on anything that was making me stressed out or sad. I very definitely know what you meen about feeling down and not knowing how to get back on track. I don't even know what my plan is now. I really hope that you feel better this week and get back to your plan, along with added fiber.

The eagle tour sounds wonderful! Definitely better than a movie. I'm so glad you went out and did that! I haven't been on a boat in a long time. I love being out on the water. Sorry that you had to follow it up with drama from your mom. My husband had the same kind of mom and it was very hard on him, so I have some idea what you are going through with that.

I have not been getting up at 7 but usually by 8 and I got a lot of stuff done outside with the planting. I've put in about 15 each blueberries and blackberries, planted another 8 small fruit trees that we bought last year and never planted. I have one mound and one raised bed of veggies and a mound of herbs. We have everything except some of the blueberries in regular raised or big mounds that we learned about using a few years ago. We have 5 mounds and 2 raised beds and each one needed its own soaker hose so we also spent some time making an irrigation system with splitters and cutting a big hose to custom lengths to connect each soaker to a splitter. I only have a few potted things I have to water by hand. Now that outside is mostly done I need to work on some things inside, which I am way less motivated about doing. I'm think I'm going to try and go to the Y or hike more and see if I can lose some of the weight that way. I feel guilty going out when there is so much to do here, but I need to try something different.

I hope your weekend at work goes well and you get back on track this week! I was thinking of you even when I couldn't get myself on here to write.

Happy to hearr from you and like I said before, you don't have to say your're sorry about not writin to me-- I totalt know. how that is, I had a better start to this week mentally especially with the sunny expanded days. Fiance did well on the yard cleanup and that helped too. No way near done, but better. Went to the pool awhile today and relaxed, I did decide on one more daily and I picked up the other 3 this week. Water, before wine, Fruit and list checkin. Added - an "S" For my main meal either hearty soup with beans, salad, or smoothie. With the variable routine I should be able to do one of the 3. Sunday we had crepes at church and then dinner with mom- honey truffle fries( don't even ask) and crab dip at a restaurant.. carb crazy. woke up feelin fat and scale up too. Stoppin that nonsense. I wish it was always summer. Back to work tomorrow afternoon, will check in then. Chin up - its a brand new day ny friend.

I have done better this week. I have not felt good mentally, but I have behaved better! The hike with my sons last weekend gave me a boost. I have exercised pretty well and eaten ok. I'm still drinking too much, but less than the last few weeks, and so I also ate less candy. I have been pushing my shoulder a little and I'm not optimistic. I tried up/down planks, just 3 sets of 5, and it hurts a little. That should not hurt. I did throw out my list and I'm just winging it for now, since I was ignoring the list anyway. I did go to a new myofascial release class that my physical therapist teaches at the Y (for $10 extra, sigh). She focused on lower body that day and it felt good. I need to make myself do that stuff at least a couple of days a week!

I'm so glad your fiance cleaned up the yard! That is great news and I know that will help your stress some! How is your new "S" list item going? That sounds like a good idea - those are all healthy choices and they all taste good! I hear you about the carbs! I get depressed because I eat them, and I eat them because I am depressed. Vicious cycle!

Today I am gong to the farmers' market. I haven't been there this season yet. I used to sell eggs there when it was new, but have not been involved for 5 years or so. There are very few of our small local farmers left who started the market. They let in big truck farms with veggies from who knows where, plus lots of prepared (largely carb-based!) food. It is not what we envisioned when we started the market. I am in need of some good veggies though, so I'll patronize the small local guys and get my veggie fix. There are also two nice old guys who sell fish and I like their catfish. Last week I bought a 40 pound box of sweet potatoes from a farmer friend. I guess I will be eating a lot of sweet potatoes!

Tomorrow we are having dinner with both of our sons. My older son was away on Father's Day, so this will be our makeup dinner.

I hope you are doing well this week!

Good to hear that you are doing better , even though it is a struggle I know. I kinda feel like I'm the same right now. Some days good, some not so much. Fiance has really only started with the yard- still a ton to get to, but what is most visable to the neighbor has been moved . It does make me feel better.

Good for you with the fresh vegtables. I love farmer's markets too, and like you said they are also getting too comercial. I do get farm fresh eggs ,and I eat a lot of them. My S list is going OK most days Even when I don't actually write it down, I am aware. Work days/nights are harder since I'm always working odd hours and not enough sleep. But we are trying, and sometime that is all you can do. My wine is aveaging 2 and sometimes another 1/2 glass and I am still wanting to cut down but not really committed to a plan. I know its a mental habit mostly, but it does take a firm committment and energy to change- and I don't have enough of either right now.

I smiled when I read that your sons are coming for dinner - that should bring a bright spot to your day. I don't see my older daughter as much now since she moved and is working and going to school, but it always makes me so happy when we are together. She actually lives close to the hospital and sometimes comes by when I'm here, but mostly she is so busy with one thing or another, and that is OK.

I'm here tonight, off Sunday and on call the 4th in the evening but we may still get to see some fireworks. I'll ck back with you soon. Enjoy your family time, life is short. .

I put all the market veggies together in one dish and have been eating it all week. Just finished the last bit with my lunch. Not super tasty since I didn't put any salt in it, but not bad and definitely healthy!

My son has a new roommate, a good friend of his from school who also works with him now. He is a smart, good kid but I feel ill at ease around him (because he is really good at everything and knows a lot about everything) and I don't like hanging around with him. My son brought him along to our makeup Father's Day dinner which annoyed me. Yesterday we were invited to my son's house for the day. We went early to play games etc. because he had addtional people invited for dinner. The new roommate was there so I was uncomfortable all day. Then another roommate who is moving out in a month (but hid out in his room all day so he didn't have to help get the house clean or dinner ready) came out. His parents were invited, plus a few other friends of my son's, plus a prof that my son and both roommates had. I was super uncomfortable during dinner and couldn't wait to get out of there. I think this new roommate will always be around when we go to visit now. He is a superb cook (grew up in a restaurant family) and I am mediocore at best, so our "cooking together" visits with my son will not be any more fun. I like the old lazy roommate better because he mostly hides in his room when we are there! My husband and both sons love the new roommate though. I'm the odd man out on that one. I was also thinking about my mom being alone all day, and wishing I had been with her instead of a houseful of people, and all of it just made my depression kick in and I cried for a long time when we got home. BUT, today is a new day and I've bounced back again.

I think that is a long enough rant for today! I hope your holiday was happier than mine and that your plan is going well. How is the wine consumption? I am good some days, not as good other days. (I drank several glasses yesterday for sure!!)

Oh man, that had to be terrible. I would have freaked out whenever "games" came up. I once was at my mom's house with my 3 sisters and they all wanted to play a card game that they like, but I didn't know ( or care to know) how. Yahtzee is all I even remember and I play that with fiance sometimes- but in a group-- forget it. I just don't like group stuff either and especially with people who I don't know well. Sorry you had to go through with that, and even worse that you would rather have been with your Mom. I had an OK day. Did some housecleaning and then we went with Rachael to the outdoor pool which she loved. But she was in an off mood after that and we were all 3 tired so we didn't try to go out for fireworks. Watched the Capitol celebration on TV. I'm glad you started off new- good for you!

KUDOS for you eating well. I am sticking with my plan pretty well but the scale isn't budging. I am a pound over what I consider my "top" weight, and I feel fat. I did manage to go 2 nights without wine last week. The first one I didn't have any because I felt nauseated in general and the next night I just decided I could make it 2 in a row. I woke up feeling OK and I told myself that is was good to give my hard working liver a break. I drank herbal tea instead and it was satisfying.

I can't believe that summer is almost half over I am trying get in as many relaxing warm days as possible.

I talked to Mom today and on 7/20 (a Thursday) I'm going to meet her in Baltimore at my aunt's house and we'll do something together for the day. That way I can still milk my goats in the morning and get back the same day. That made me feel better about not seeing her this week.

Pretty good eating and alcohol and exercise again this week, but like you, no budging the scale (so probably not as good eating etc. as I think!). I am 10 pounds over where I want to be. That's not awful, but it's mostly in my stomach, making those work slacks and skirts not button which is very annoying. Good for you for not drinking 2 nights in a row! I like chamomile tea, and also lemon ginger. I always feel good about myself when I drink herbal tea instead of alcohol at night.

I go back to school one month from today, August 7!

I tried to talk my son into doing a short kayak trip with me tomorrow but he was not interested. Maybe Sunday! I only go once a year lately, on our vacation (which is in just a few weeks!) but I have been feeling like getting in an extra trip or two.

I'm so glad that you will get to see your Mom. I know you will find something fun to do. Mostly, just enjoy being together I bet.

My 10 lbs over is just like you - i think we discovered that awhile back (too funny) But now its 11. At least I'm not scared of getting back on the scale. I have ben pretty good with meals but just too much junk food at work; especially with the night shift/day shift on and off craziness.. Try to figure out when I really should eat,sleep,exercise- it must throw off my body rhythms. I'm going to keep trying the 2 nights a week no wine. I really think I will have to do something much more structured to see real results. I can't fit in my 8 pants either.

I have never been on a kayack, but it looks like fun.I have gone tubing and that was easy and relaxing. My fiance is trying to get a sailboat - I have never sailed either but he is pretty determined. We drove 80 miles each way to look at it. Growing up on the N.C sound we swam and water skiied - but I haven't been able to do that either. I would love being on the water though. I hope you get to go!

I feel like dirt. I planned lunch for my sister coming in to town from Florida to visit my mom for the day , and picked a Mexican restaurant in Carytoen that is near the hospital so I could go right back to work and also close to my daughter so she could come too. I searched out a groupon to use. so far so good. Then while I was in the bathroom, my sister picked up the check. When I saw that and everyone was looking so pleased that she had treated me instead, I was actually angry and for a moment I/m sure it showed. I must have looked silly grabbing the groupon paper from my purse and saying rather loudly "I have a groupon!" My mother had to get in on it and start scoldin me for not just sayiong "Thank you" and being grateful. That made me even madder inside "but I had it all planned out!" Then I felt all confused that I still felt mad, my sister was smiling sweetly and saying "I never get to treat you" and my mom glaring at me. I did pull myself together and say "Thank you", and my mother replied, 'well FINALLY!". I felt bad at my reaction and said "im sorry if my reaction was a little Sharp!" I didn't know what else to say , I'd never want to hurt my sweet sister's feelings. She said "You work near here, you can use it again sometime, " which is true - but not the point. I wouldn't have gotten it other wise. Why are we like that? I'm glad you are here to listen. Hope you have a better day. I texted my sister and thanked her again, and I don't think it bothered her since she has more to deal with ( my mother for the rest of the day and then another trip to Nags Head for her vacation) It bothers me and I don't know how to stop it before I have that mini rage when something goes against my plans. Now I'm back at work and stair exercising -to take my mind off it.

I am so very sorry you went through that! I totally understand. I have gotten to where I snap at my husband automatically if he doesn't do things my way. With other people, I don't snap but I seethe internally. Your sister should not have gone behind your back like that when she is really the guest, even though she didn't know about the groupon. I can also certainly relate to how your mother played it up since my mother-in-law was exactly like you always describe your mother - there is no winning with someone like that.

Take deep breaths, walk more stairs!

I am finishing my first half glass of wine. I will dedicate the 2nd half glass to you!!