Mental health and food

Nearly 5 months ago now I was diagnosed with type 2 Diabetes. I have changed my diet, and found a gentle workout system that is helping me steadily lose weight without triggering asthma attacks. For certain I've lost 20 pounds since the start of it, which for me is no small feat, even though I still have a long way to go I feel, most times, that I can manage to get down to a more healthy weight.
However, I have a bit of a road block coming up that I'm working through mentally. In our family, we celebrate birthdays by the person having the birthday chosing the dinner and the dessert for the celebration day. It's allowed to be a little expensive and a little extravagant, and we typically would go out to a restaurant or cook a meal that required a bit more involvement and clean up.
This year, with my new diet, it's difficult for me to find something I absolutely adore that makes me feel like I'm both celebrating and sticking to my goals while also providing something that the rest of the family can enjoy. Not only am I still struggling to find an array of healthy foods that I like, I'm struggling to come up with meal plans that they, with either different or no restrictions, would also enjoy.
There are only a handful of weeks left (we'll probably be celebrating on the 12th or 13th even though my birthday is the 15th) and I'm trying to figure out what to do.
I feel like I'm more looking for comfort and understanding than advice- after all, the only real advice that can be given is to hopefully find a time everyone isn't busy and sit and discuss what we can do to please all of us. I'm just nervous to have the discussion and realize just how many more options aren't available.

Depression and anxiety have always made my relationship with food rather difficult, from not eating to over eating. In high school I was told by my health teacher that according to my height (somewhere between 4'9" and 4'11", just barely noticably enough under 5 feet) and BMI that I "Should never weigh over 95 pounds" and further that if I didn't lose the extra weight that I had on me (I don't know for certain, but I was probably around 110 to 115) within that semester she would fail me for the entire class. This was a class that you were required to pass in order to graduate high school as a whole. I was already suffering from depression and struggles with body image, so when I was told by a "Professional" that my fears were truth, I broke down.
I had spent most of my school years in dental straightening braces, back before the whole "Invisiline" thing was even a dream. I had always carefully followed the rules that I had been given of what not to eat to keep from damaging them. On weekends where my braces would have to be tightened it would be possible that I wouldn't be able to eat from how much my mouth ached to try and chew. I had gotten them off the summer just before this teacher had informed me that I was overweight and yes, I had gained a few pounds due to finally being able to eat some of my favorite candy again, but I was only just borderlining on "pudgy" at the time. I looked at my choices for healthy eating-- either things I entirely disliked, or things that were a bit expensive for what we could afford at the time. I looked at my options for working out-- all of which were made difficult by my asthma (another thing the same teacher mocked me for, shouting at me to "keep pushing" until I would get sick and quit or listen to her and pass out).

After that I stopped working out and stopped trying to eat healthy at all. I convinced my parents to let me quit high school and do home schooling/GED courses instead, because it wasn't worth fighting the hellscape that was a high school I could never pass simply on the basis that I was too fat for that one teacher. I was too depressed to speak up and tell someone about the "threat" and just never bothered. "She was the professional after all, why wouldn't they just all agree with her and not me?"

I suppose with all this, I'm nervous that my celebration will come and that I'll throw all my hard work out the window by "letting" myself have something sugary that everyone will enjoy despite knowing that it'll wreck my blood glucose for a day or two. I feel like I would be more on track now if I hadn't been doing that earlier in my process, "letting" myself have a "treat" for my numbers getting lower because I was jealous watching the rest of my family constantly still eating the sugary treats that I can't touch.

Maybe I just need a little push to remind me that we don't have to be eating the same things to be celebrating how far I've come this year. I just have a difficult time with it because my mother is the sort who prefers everyone to be eating the same meals and gets worked up when I tell her to get takeout even if I can't have it (even though somehow she doesn't mind eating twinkies and ice cream in front of me all the time).

Anyway, thank you to anyone who bothered to read and thank you to anyone who decides to reply!
Hope you're all doing well!

~Spirits