Chatroom Moderator Team: Weekly Check-in #1

@ASilentObserver

@ASilentObserver

Hi, Obs, Thanks for sharing this important message. I especially applaud your words that taking really good care of ourselves is so important, since moderating can be stressful. I am very grateful for the support offered for people to take breaks, and step back for awhile to reconsider things. It really does help keep the Charge going where it should be, on encouraging Members to share and fostering a Safe environment for that to be done, where support is delivered in appropriate and gentle ways.

You asked if we had tips or ideas on fostering positive interactions, and I would like to share one here. My tip is to try to model positive interactions ourselves, by being inclusive of people in the room, by stating whatever the rules are of the room, giving background information when a Member or other Listener seeks it, remaining professional when we are moderating a group space, and stopping the discussion to try to resolve matters before moving on, if it's a space where there are set sharing times and a conflict arises. Modeling conflict resolution can be a great learning experience for others. It's also stressful, so back to the issue of self-care. Don't hesitate to step back and recoup strength if needed. What we're doing is valuable and at times, difficult work. It can also be fun. Keeping the mood light and fun is important, but we must be cognizant when someone shares something deep or heavy, that we are there also to affirm that person's personal growth, not joke around about it. The feeling of being listened to, and actually heard, is an amazing way to create connections and also the cohesiveness of the group.

Oh, well, I've never been accused of having too little to say! That's all for now from me! Huge tray of snacks to whoever got through all that, and beverages of your choice, puppies for those who like puppies, kittens for the kitten lovers, and hugs for the huggers, cars and yachts and fancy watches for those who crave things.

Love and Courage, Tas

@ASilentObserver thanks for this space.

I find moderation of Topic Discussions as difficult as tight rope walking or walking on a balance beam. Some days I am too lenient and people get rowdy and some days I can be a bit overbearing that stifles spontaneity,

This happened to me where I tried to talk someone off of trying to debate. I was probably too patient. When I finally started giving warnings, then finally the person complied.

Could someone PM me the number of warnings to kick someone from a room? This seems to be more difficult than it was a few years ago.

@ASilentObserver

Thanks for the check-in Obs. I think that @VioletVeritas has given a lovely answer and agree with modelling positive interactions and leading by example. Also being friendly and inclusive and patient with people helps. @Soulsings brings up a very good point that sometimes it can be really hard to balance knowing when to intervene and when to hang back and it can depend on so many factors.

It hasn't happened recently but I find the hardest times to moderate is when there is a group/ clique of people breaking the guidelines and being the only mod present, it can feel like I am outnumbered.

It's also tough feeling like we are doing a thankless task as enforcing the rules doesn't always make us popular but it's important to keep the rooms safe and supportive and someone in the room is probably very grateful that you intervened. So thank you to all the mods out there doing a tough job 🤗🤗

@ASilentObserver

Thank you for this post, sorry for the late reply.

I'm always happy to see you people in the room support each other. The last week was okay, there were some people interrupting the discussions though and it can be hard to get the whole group focused again but usually it works okay. I have one question, has the amount of written warnings be changed before someone has to leave the room?