A Note on Triggers in Group Support
Hello Lovely People of 7 Cups,
I hope you're all having a wonderful day! I'm posting today as I've noticed a few issues with triggers in the group support rooms lately, particularly on the teen side.
Being triggered is an awful feeling and it's not something we want you to experience in our support rooms, or at all in your lives! The tricky thing about triggers is that something could trigger one person badly, yet not bother another person in the slightest. Its not always possible to predict this. Additionally, it can be frustrating for members if they are prevented from discussing an issue theyre comfortable with, for the sake of a person who may or may not be triggered and who may or may not be there.
When group support was very shiny and new, we did try to moderate triggers. What happened? It became almost impossible to have any conversation at all. So many people were triggered by so many different things, the flow of discussion was interrupted and many people were unable to talk about what was on their minds. It just didn't work for the whole room to avoid a topic for the sake of one person. For this reason, we introduced the following rule:
Rule #4 - If you are overwhelmed, anxious, or do not feel that the group support environment is aiding in your personal healing, please visit our Browse Listeners page to connect with a Listener one-on-one.
Additionally, we have a rule in place to prevent people from using inappropriate or graphic language, so you can expect topics or language that is upsetting for lots of people to be removed and a warning sent to that person. But for the most part, triggers come down to personal responsibility and you are expected to manage your own experience in the support rooms.
☆ If you find you are easily triggered by many things, group support may not be a good fit for you. In that case, we'd recommend you stick to 1-1 chat, the forum or growth path for support.
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Here's what you can do if you're feeling triggered by something in a chat room:
♥ Mute the person who is triggering you.
♥ Take a short break from the room and try out a mindfulness exercise.
♥ Take a short break from the room and do something you love - go for a walk, listen to music, phone a friend, take a bath etc.
♥ Connect 1-1 with a listener to talk through your feelings.
Siento que mi novio ya no me quiere...
Siento que estoy haciendo todo mal, me siento pésimo, estoy viviendo en un lugar que no me gusta para nada, con gente que no me agrada.
Trabajo en un lugar que no me gusta.
Económicamente siento que estoy perdiendo el control de las cosas. Siento que cada vez me va peor en lo que quiero.
En la universidad me esta yendo mal, no estoy yendo a los cursos por desánimo. No estoy haciendo ni estudiando.
No me siento a gusto con mi cuerpo, me da rabia no poder bajar de peso, sobretodo porque nadie cree que lo necesite, me ven muy flaca. Incluso el imc dice que estoy en un peso bajo, pero yo no me siento así.
Quiero llorar todo el día, pero no puedo. A la gente no le gusta que otra gente esté triste, entonces se alejan. Y no me quiero quedar sola, por eso no le cuento nada a nadie. Sumado que los que me rodean me juzgan demasiado, y siento que no se interesan por mi. Siento que solamente quieren sacarme provecho.
Estoy cansada, y ya no tengo a donde huir.
@ayquecerdito - Hola lovely, I think you may have gotten a bit turned around in the forums. Can I recommend you check out the Relationships Support forum where people are able to support you? Additionally, I know it's tough when English isn't your first language, but our forums are kept largely in English so that more people can understand and respond - Google Translate might be a good help to translating your post so that others can more easily support you. :)
@ayquecerdito
si necesita una person a hablar con, estoy aquí :) yo entiendo tu problema y si necesita ayuda, puedo ayudar y se ayudaré.
@ayquecerdito Todo va a mejorar, no de la noche a la mañana pero todo lo hará progresivamente. Mantente fuerte!
there are all kinds of triggers in chat... how can anyone know who gets set off to what? how can you prevent hurting someone? is it mpossible?
@Heather ok
(Possibly triggering)
Hey- I have no idea where to being, but telling random people my life story seems easier than telling my parents so thank you so much if you read it all; I already love ya
so in middle school I had an eating disorder and it seems like old news to me but it is still important the big picture. I lost about 30 pounds in a year from just not eating, I was extremely underweight and unhappy.
Then came freshman year of high school and I met this amazing guy. Being with him made me happy and I felt like he motivated me to become health again, and that's exactly what happened. I was almost fully recovered from anorexia in less than a year from the only person in my life who cared.
Then came sophomore year of highschool. The guy who helped me recover and I were dating for a few months until one day. My best friend told him she was gay and then he went off on her saying that is was immoral. I had to choose my best friends side or my boyfriends side, so I chose my best friend.
When he left, I had no joy and I went back to old habits. But what I soon realized was that the more I restricted, the more I binged. I was so mad at myself for gaining all this weight so I one day decided to throw it all up. I then started binging and purging,throwing up, everyday or five times a week. I started doing it at parties when I couldn't control myself around food and basically anywhere I knew I was going to be eatting.
I now binge/purge everyother day about and I want to stop
I never know what's going to trigger me. I have ptsd & anxiety and today I triggered by a tv show reminding me of how nervous I am to go to work tomorrow. I hate confrontation and my co-workers are so gossipy and unwelcoming. It has made me have way too many panic attacks. The hard part is, I'm the boss so I need to act like it's not affecting me. I'm so tired of feeling extremely nervous all of the time. Does anyone else ever feel like this?
@Heather Fantastic post. This is truly helpful and needed. Thank you very much.
Excellent post