When members act young. In rooms it does not always mean they are under 18

@harmonyLearninghope

Thanks for raising awareness about it.

Ad 4: what's a "clear sign" needs to be defined. What's obvious for one person can be debatable to another person.

@harmonyLearninghope I think it's good for everyone to keep this in mind and to avoid being judgemental.

I don't understand "2 Some of topics sounds. Younger than what should be the 18+ side.". No one can make a judgement about "should be" without knowing a person's full situation. Even in the US and Canada there are places where being 18 does not mean you are an adult.

And I don't understand "4 only ask if they are under 18 if they clear sign that they are under 18." If there is a clear sign then you don't need to ask! For example, if someone says, "I am 14" then it makes no sense to ask, "Are you under 18?"

Charlie

Thanks for your thoughts @harmonyLearninghope. Thank you for the reminder that we shouldn't be judging people's age based upon what they might share or how they speak in the chatrooms, I have seen several occurrences of this happening in Sharing Circles. Of course questions aren't allowed during a share, however if there is a concern that the member may be underage, ideally a mod, room supporter or host can politely ask if they are over 18 just to ensure their safety.

@kindSould10 and @RarelyCharlie make a very good point that this situation is very difficult to define a clear sign as it can be very open to interpretation. Of course if they state 'I am 15' for example, there is no need to ask and relevant info to switch to teenside can be shared. Often intuition can be the most accurate way of assessing if the question needs asking. But personally the key indicators can be talking about middle school or high school or comments that suggest their parents are legally responsible for them.

It's definitely a fine line and the important thing to remember is that sometimes the question has to be asked to ensure the safety of the member who is potentially underage. I would estimate of all the times I have asked, 90% of the time, they have been a teen who input the incorrect birthday and needed switching to teenie side.

For 4 I'm likely to ask even if any signs are unclear. It helps to understand a situation better sometimes even if they are in a correct age group. If it's guided I leave it to the hosts/mods unless that's me or I'm helping out. In a room that's more open my threshold for asking isn't high nd I don't think there's a big problem with that. If someone is coming off as potentially young and gets asked often I can see how it could be a bit annoying but it also means people are concerned about their safety.

Sorry, not sorry: as in sorry if it feels annoying to be asked but I'm not sorry for caring enough to do the asking.

My understanding of the difference between the Teen side and the Adult side is that Listeners on the Teen side divulge their identities and go through a background check. Making sure the Member is on the "right side" is for their own protection as persons who are "minors" and are within a "protected population." (Other people who might be considered especially vulnerable are: persons over age 60, persons who are under the guardianship or conservatorship of others for whatever reason, persons who are prisoners.)

I agree with all the points made about a person sharing possibly appearing to be very young due to: cultural differences between countries and cultures of origin, the chance that a person with an alter is expressing their share with a more youthful alter, the wide diversity of living situations people find themselves in for the multiplicity of reasons that may not be under their control, like job opportunities, developmental delays, social economic realities.

I agree when a sharer indicates clearly their age ("I am 15.") or indicates clearly that they are in middle school, they can be guided to the teen side, for their own protection.

Kindly,

Tas