Lessons Learned: Letters from Experienced Mods to their Newbie Mod Selves:
soulsings writes https://docs.google.com/document/d/1xfcpuEz7fXMxCxl5ehuEVTEZ-oO9shNe1IYfcqA_EwA/edit?usp=sharing
Hi Mod Newbie. Welcome to the hardest job you can have at 7cups! Somedays you may have people attacking and threatening you or trying to circumvent the guidelines. They may say Mod Alert when you come in the room. They may call you bad names. Do not let any of that get under your skin. You are bigger than that and do not wallow in the mud people sling at you. You are here for a higher calling: to help other people and to keep 7cups a safe place.
There are great times too when people may thank you for leading a discussion that has changed their life! It does happen but not as often as we like. The skills you are going to need are patience and compassion. Everyone, even the taunters and disrupters, needs empathy and compassion. People do not act like that calling people names if they are happy. They are miserable and suffering from deep wounds. Do not hate them. They at least need you to be neutral to them if you cannot find compassion in your heart.
Remember that no mod can get rid of all the problem people. Sometimes we can just deflect the criticism and change the flavor of the discussion. Sometimes we can only calm things down for a while. So dont try to sterilize 7cups. It will not be a place that people would inhabit. Everyone does not feel what you feel or believe what you believe.
What you can do as much as you are able to is make 7cups a better place to get support for people who want support. Keep the discussions going and keep supporting the people who really want to change the direction they are heading. Keep the discussions safe but be kind and compassionate. Be willing to give out 3 verbal warnings to try to calm things down before passing out warnings.
Be careful who you give warnings to. Sometimes the disrupters try to get people who want to calmly discuss things agitated and angry. When the mod starts giving them the warnings then the disrupters slip away. Use discretion when giving warnings and restraint so that the bystanders are not baited into being upset and getting caught instead of the instigators. Remember, no one is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. Try to mod with someone else so you are not faced with this alone. The more secure you are as a person the more stress you can handle without getting over emotional.
Remember everyone, even those that throw mud on you, are your friends. They may not know it now, but being a mod is so difficult if you have enemies. Only have friends. And be a friend to all. Maybe they will just learn to be a friend too someday.