Group Moderation – Guidance and Tricks

Group Moderation – Guidance and Tricks

Experience shows us that not every encounter with Members might end well.
It is not our fault every time or the fault of someone specific, but it still could happen.

The guidelines and the training prepared us for many situations and has surely helped us a lot, but in few situations,
especially to the newer moderator but not only, it isn't of much use.

Down below are scenarios which might have come up while moderating and suggestions
about what can be done or said in case it happens.

1. The whole room is asking me to warn someone because he was rude.
-It seems like the right thing to do if many say so and he kind of is rude…
Under no circumstances, you should get influenced by the words of others.
Conflicts sadly happen and sometimes for no reason, but that both sides are upset is natural.
We are here to make a room supportive and respectful again for everyone, not just for few.

Also, you should only send a warning for what you directly witness. If you have not directly witnessed somebody
breaking a rule and a group participant is accusing someone of breaking the rules, you should remove the message(s)
and if necessary, warn the person accusing for "Engaging in Conflict".

2. Someone's username/profile picture/bio isn't the best to choose.
There are guidelines on what can be chosen, but as long as something isn't clearly inappropriate, it is not warnable.
If it is not too triggering or inappropriate, then ask a Group Support Quality Mentor for their opinion via PMs.
If their username is inappropriate for 7Cups and the user has been here for more than two weeks, give a verbal reminder in chat rooms and give them time to change the picture. If the user is not compliant, give warnings. If they are muted and
haven't changed the picture, then please email community@7cups.com with the member's username and explain what happened.

If the member with an inappropriate username has been here for under 2 weeks (you can go to their profile to see how long a certain member has been on 7 cups), then please ask them kindly and supportingly, via PM, to change their username to something more supportive/appropriate. If they refuse, you can take the steps which are seen above.

3. You believe that a user might be bypassing a mute.
-You believe that a member may be drunk, but he/she only implied it.
When in doubt, do not warn.
If the user did not explicitly say any of the above,
then we can't warn. It can be that there are two people who have that name or the other Member do it on purpose to make us warn the wrong person.
Also, acting funny isn't equal to being intoxicated. Therefore, we should be careful with accusations.

♦ If I may ask, is it possible that you are intoxicated or under the influence?
♦ Are you currently muted on another account you own?

Those sentences could be asked but only once and in a respectful way. We are here to support everyone, not to warn.
Asking someone directly if they are drunk could make them feel uncomfortable.


4. People tell me I sound robotic, but I'm only doing my role as a moderator
Our skills have been approved, but we shouldn't change ourselves too much.
We have a shiny green badge and have to be professional, but there has to be empathy.
The goal is to be able to switch fast between being a Listener and a Moderator.
Focusing on warning someone for too long makes others feel unheard and could make them forget that we have
an (L) next to names and are actually there to use our active listening skills.

5. Ugh. What should I do with this troll?
There are no trolls; only those who behave in the act of trolling.
The word "troll" has many meanings and is dehumanizing.
Someone can be disruptive, unsupportive or maybe not tell the most truthful things, but
they have their reason(s) for that. If the reason is to make others feel bad, then we may warn for the appropriate reason
depending on the situation. However, if someone is continually being disruptive, a moderator can warn them.

6. Why does nobody understand why I warned them? They agreed to the rules anyways, and they know it but continue.
The group support rooms are your respective field. You can interact and talk with
Member, especially those who you just muted.
You can offer your time and invite them to a 1-on-1 conversation to talk about your side and why you took the actions.
It might not feel good to contact them, and in many cases, you get insulted or asked to justify yourself, but it is better
in the long-term to talk to those who you see every day in a respectful and empathetic way and to show them how
the situation can be avoided next time.

♦ [Sent via PM] Hey there! I noticed that you were upset in the group support rooms and that you felt like you got the warnings for no reason.
If you wish, then we can talk about that now.

[…] If you are muted, no big deal. It happens. Feel fortunate for the opportunity
to grow and learn from your behavior! […] - @Laura via forum post

7. Verbal reminders: Importance of wording.
To mention that there are things in a chatroom which are not okay or to signal that we should focus on supporting is important.

♦ Member F, Stop (Could make the person feel attacked)
♦ Let's move on. (Is not likely to get acknowledged by Members)

The examples above are not recommended and are only little of use.
We might need to give full sentences as a reminder, so everyone can understand.
Note: After giving enough universal, understandable, verbal reminders, we do not have to give more, can focus fully on supporting, and use the delete/warning button without engaging in further conflict or bringing the topic up again.

Down below are suggestions which could but don't have to be used:

♦ I don't want to interrupt, but we shouldn't have off-site contact. Especially in this chatroom you can't control
who is watching and I'm not sure if everyone is aware.
♦ We do not have to go through this. I really think we all are mature enough to use our personal mute buttons.
No one in here needs to justify themselves for something.
♦ From now on, we focus on supporting and move on from what has happened earlier.

We have our warning-button for a reason, and we should use them if needed.
Giving a lot of verbal reminder such as "Let's move on <3 " is something which will not be helpful if there is an argument going on or if everyone ignores that message.
Also: Adding a heart to every message looks odd after a while along with adding certain Emoji.
In few cases, they can look passive aggressive such as "Move on :)"

Giving a warning is always the last resort, but it still has to be taken into consideration.

8. My friends are usually not like this, so warning them too wouldn't be fair.
Because you have to be neutral, you also have to warn friends for rule breaks.
Your friends are usually not like that, but Member(s) neither. It would be considered Favoritism if you prefer to not warn your friends because you know them better. You can, of course, decide to only delete comments if you know that someone has problems when it comes to calming down, but then you have to do the same with other user of the chat room too, carefully bringing it back to a positive and supportive environment.

9. You are the only moderator who is active for a long time now, need to pause, but notice that the Anxiety Support has a bigger argument going on.
Self-care is important, and you do not have to go into a room if you feel unwell.
It can happen that you feel responsible for a group support room, but it is always better to take time to ask for a
fellow moderator with more energy rather than to try to defuse a situation after already being, for example,
active for 5 hours without a break.

♦ Look through the other rooms.
♦ Look into the "Teen Mod Zone" or the "Teen Listeners".
♦ Send a polite message to your fellow Moderator, asking if they can help.
♦ Use the emergency teen form seen in rule #22.
♦ Reach out to the Group Mod Leader if it's really urgent.

In the unlikely event that there is no other Moderator available to respond, then
taking screenshots and including those in the Group Moderation Log is acceptable too.

10. I might talk to the other moderator. She is doing so bad even though it is super simple, and a newbie would be more helpful.
We are not allowed to take the role of someone from the (group-) quality team.
We can contact this Moderator to ask them if there is anything we can help with or if they have moderating-related
questions we can answer. But we cannot tell someone that their behaviour needs to improve or that they did something more than just wrong. We have to use the feedback form like everyone else.

The only exception would be if both agree and are okay about giving/accepting feedback.

11. I let everyone speak about their things, but sometimes it ends badly. Why?
Even the few things which are allowed to be discussed can cause conflicts.
It is obvious that talking about suicide or triggering topics in detail can both lead to a negative environment or that people disagree on an opinion made by someone.
The chatroom rules also forbid (directly/indirectly)talking about religion, politics, mutes, etc.
But an unwritten rule of thumb is, that it might not be good to talk about us as -Mods-.
We might give them a brief explanation about our tasks, but even if someone compliments us, it is very likely that someone disagrees, resulting in a smaller argument about something which doesn't need to happen at all.

♦ I like you better than other Mods. You are so cool
GuestX 5:53 PM
♦ Nah, I like ModeratorY better. She is friendlier
MemberL (M) 5:53 PM
♦Mods are trash in general. *** everyone.
MemberY (M) #Supportive Smile 5:54 PM
♦The Mod here and ModeratorY are humans too?
GuestX 5:54 PM
♦They should treat me like one too then???
MemberY (M) #Supportive Smile 5:54 PM



12. Listener K entered the room. You remember the warnings you gave him
and the reports you filed because of a disagreement with a Member earlier.
If you took the needed actions, then the situation is not relevant anymore
Everyone deserves a second chance. "He broke the rules once and will do it again" might not be the best
mindset to have, especially because we have to be lenient, professional and non-judgemental. We are here to give people a chance -- maybe few more and to give them space to grow.
As long as they haven't reached their third mute, we don't have to speed up the process.

13. Someone called for help in the LGBTQ+ Support, and now you find yourself in a room full of fellow moderators.
Flooding a chat room makes it more chaotic. One or two Moderator(s) are capable enough to handle the situation.
The sudden excitement that you are needed in a room feels great,and you want to be there as fast as possible, but we are here to work as a team and to function like one.
We aren't police officers and not every second counts. You are allowed to spectate the room and look up
messages which already have been sent.

♦ Announce that you will be going into that support room.
♦ If necessary, have more than just one browser tab open.
♦ Join the room and look to see if any other moderator is there.
♦ Announce yourself in the support room, if not many moderators are already present, start moderating.

You could find yourself in the situation that another Moderator joins.
That is no problem and can prevent someone from attacking you in particular.
You two can alternate between PMing a situation report (for clarification) and being active.

14. You are moderating and have a Listener in your room who is happily taking over few tasks for you, like giving verbal reminders.
The act of moderating is reserved for Moderators only.
A Listener can make Members aware that from their perspective a room is
neglecting one individual or remind someone of their behaviour---but that's it.
Without having the right training or any abilities to take actions against someone, a usual Listener is causing
the theoretical conflict to get worse or even start one.
We, as the ones with the training, can and should treat those Listeners/Members like every other chat room participant,
not as someone with special roles.


15. You join a chat room and see an earlier sent inappropriate message.
Actions can be taken on every visible message (scrolling up / current chat)
A message can and should be deleted if it is inappropriate of any kind (insulting/bypassing censors,
sexually suggestive, sharing chat details/current location, etc) as long as it still can be seen.
It is always dependent on the situation:

Doesn't have to be deleted:
♦ Yeah, you deserve to struggle and I meant you don't deserve to struggle* OMG sorry!!

Should be deleted:
♦ A room full of [insult]. Pathetic or Even more boring that the chat with Listener Y

In case you decide to take action, it's not always good to use the warning button.
Especially when two or more people have argued, it can be that they could forget that they were in a support room (on a support site) and then simply continue without being aware.

________________________________________________________________

For more questions, there are our wonderful Group Mod Leader,
Group Quality Mentors and other Mentors with the Group-Mod badge.

Remember: Nobody is perfect and not everyone can be perfect.
It is okay to make mistakes as a moderator. Practice is key.
Good luck in your journey of Group Moderation!