Rantings about broken sibling relationships

So I have a sibling whose in my relationship with us beyond broken because of repeated trauma and stuff from explanations and clarifications leads only to arguments not communicative from differences of language (we both speak in English like dbt language or other specific of CBT behavior clumsily.

Short story:I have tried to give everything resourceful about visiting in the future June for the weekend because of a crisis housing I'm going to be in April,I have withheld too long for trying to find all the other options for help and none was able to be in the

Route I needed to be asap and the crisis house has been full till April. My sibling has been getting the impression that I'm more happily obligated and lying about how much I want to bond with them on the weekends and visiting rules is confusing and doubting themselves about visitinf at all. I' been having the impression since day 1 from dad that my sibling is obligated to visit me whether I'm in treatment or not because I'm their sibling and I'm going to live with them eventually.

No visit is going to make a difference. All I could was take my accountability in the situation, give consent to the boss of the crisis house for them to call them back and wait for results

Emailed my therapist in a big detailed rant about how much I wish to tell them I don't care about their visit and that this is just forced because of dad not because they want to and nothing of a bond will work overnight and I won't start having my hopes up on change. What helps you from these thoughts about doom thinking