Critiquing Fellow Listeners: An obligation or a prohibition?
I have a question that I want the public consensus on as I just experienced this yesterday and was unsure whether to/how to react. There might be multiple right reactions in such a situation.
If I'm in a chatroom (or you're in a chatroom) and we see a listener communicate with a member in a way that isn't egregious at all, not violating any policies, nothing in the sense of being "wrong", but there's a lack of empathy for example, or criticizing a member for having certain feelings. ANother example is if a listener is offering advice to the member, not as an idea to explore, but suggesting they do x,y,& z - all of these are not good listening skills, and not helpful to the member.
The question now is:
How do you respond?
Do you respond at all?
If you respond, do you critique the listener? Publicly? Privately
Another alternative is responding to the member and not the listener at all (ie telling the member re advice, that they have other options too)?
Any other options?
Any thoughts?
@SethK personally I would drop the listener a PM and discuss it with them
I would remind them of their listener role in the chat rooms and link them the excellent posts from heather on the subject
@Kallie112358 that would of course always be ideal but I don't know how open listeners wmwould be to that. Nobody likes getting critiqued, and particularly if its a listener that has been on for a while or longer than I have been on
@SethK if you are a mod then it is part of your job to remind listeners of their role in the chatrooms if you arent you can contact a mod or mentor to do so
I would adress the member in the forum. I'd go sth like this: 'as a listener myself, I have a take on the subject different from (the other listener's name). Would you like me to share it would you?" and I would make a short intervention. I would not explore nor set boundaries on the listener' s behavior in public.
Privately, I would reach the listener and ask if he is willing to receive feedback as I have something I'd like to share. No shaming. My intent is to provide the listener a safe learning environment if he is willing to learn some. If he declines to receive feedback I would call his attention to a specific behavior I observed in him and ask for his intention and what he intended to accomplish with his intervention. I would empathize (I am after all a growing learner myself) and invite him to (set positive direction here, no criticism). I would also stroke him for what he is doing right, I want him to know I also see how productive he can be, too.
That is from the top of my head.
It would really depend on the situation. The examples you provided are technically violations in policies.
There needs to be a healthy balance between enforcing policy and avoiding over-regulation -- a fundamental rule in any system.
It's hard to emphasize my point without other example of non-policy breaking.
